Stat of the round: 1824

The number of DT coaches who spent the hefty sum of $374,200 on West Coast's "spiritual leader", Ben Cousins, in round one. To put that in perspective, just 1100 coaches had Adelaide ball-winner Scott Thompson, who managed 126 points in round one. Cousins had 0, owing to the fact that he was in California at the time.

Sure, pop shiny-armed Cousins in your squad when he returns from the Malibu drug clinic where he's likely getting back rubs from Britney Spears. But coach Worsfold's not expecting him back until the latter part of the season, and you shouldn't either. Don't worry, the Herald Sun will let everyone know when Ben's beaten his drug demons. Until then, it might be an idea to spend your $375k on someone who is actually going to get a game before round 10.

On a similar note, 1530 DT coaches named Jonathan Hay and 804 picked Nathan Thompson. That's the same Jonathan Hay that retired after battling bi-polar disorder, and the same Nathan Thompson whose leg injury will keep him sidelined all season.

Are these coaches havin' a laugh? Are they havin' a laugh?

Chook.