Thursday, December 06, 2007

New DT Talk Site

DT Talk has moved up in the world with it's own official dot com! Head on over to and check out what we will look like in 2008! The site will aim to help everyone with their Dream Teams offering advice along with the humour that made this original blog so entertaining. The DT Talk VidCasts will be back again with a new 'pre-season' episode coming very soon! So, what are you waiting for? Click on the link, add us to your favourites, update bookmarks... heck, make your homepage! Be ready for a HUGE 2008 DT Season!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

DT Talk Episode #17 - The Last One of 2007

The final DT Talk for 2007! Ohh.. sad times! Basically a wrap up of the DT Talk finals league.. the announcement of two new competitions... a live video link up with Jarryd - the winner of the DT Talk finals league... and take a step back in time with the credits and some highlights of DT Talk this year! Thanks heaps for watching.. add us on and be keen for a big one next year!

Roy, Warnie, VT, Vin and Chopper would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for the support and for watching the show this year! Special thanks to Chook - our inspiration for the show... he is the best bloke in the world and we love him!

We will be back bigger and better than next year... stay tuned! Happy DTing!

Sunday, September 30, 2007

DT Talk Finals League - The Results

Congratulations to Jarryd with his DT, "Penultimate Team". He wins a DT Talk Bocks Set of the 2007 episodes, a DT Talk T-Shirt and we'll throw in a stubby holder too. Nice work!

(league rank, team name, coach, score this week, total points, national ranking)

1. Penultimate Team - Jarryd - 7984 - 20675 - 16th
2. The Gunny Bombers - Luke - 9128 - 20645 - 22nd
3. Pusti Malakas - Peter - 8112 - 20582 - 42nd
4. loco_dice - Corey - 8064 - 20550 - 51st
5. Dare to Dairy - Gregory - 8048 - 20547 - 54th

Other league members of interest:

10. destROY - ROY - 7848 - 20485 - 166th
36. Calvinator - VIN VIN - 8036 - 19956 - 1277th
64. Warne Dawgs - WARNIE - 7844 - 19526 - 4341st
82. Merv Gray Autos - CHOOK - 7656 - 19392 - 5717th
100. I'm Not Harrpppyyy - CHOPPER - 7756 - 19133 - 8746th
126. Tackling Tit-ed - TITTA - 7764 - 18522 - 16406th

If you missed out on the grand prize, email us at and we can arrange to see you a t-shirt or stubby holder - to set you up for next years DT Season!

Thanks to all who entered our league.. we've had a ball! Check back here later in the week for the final episode of the DT Talk YouTube show!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

DT Talk Episode #16 - Grand Final Preview

We learn that ROY is sitting pretty - 3rd in DT Talk League and 13th in the nation! Good work big boy! We announce our answer to the Brownlow - the DT Talk Awards (original title huh?!)... with best and worst game, DT Sinners, best DT Talk moments and more! We also check out the biggest Chop's Chopping Block of all time and finally announce who everyone should have as captains this week!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Captain Selection - Grand Final

This is the business end of the season, do or die, and all of that other crap... Quadruple points means that your captain is a very valuable man (score over 125 and you join the 1000 club). Every is probably thinking about the same captain, but there are some others here to consider. Some of the top choices are as follows.


Gary Ablett Jnr. 2007 Average: 98.5, Career Average: 73.4
vs Port - Average: 73.1, Last 5: 98, 93, 65, 64, 89.

Jimmy Bartel. 2007 Average: 114.4, Career Average: 86.0
Vs Port – Average: 87.0, Last 5: 111, 114, 182, 52, 63.

Paul Chapman. 2007 Average: 102.5, Career Average: 78.8
Vs Port – Average: 71.8, Last 5: 109, 80, 83, 84, 50.

Joel Corey. 2007 Average: 104.0, Career Average: 80.4
Vs Port – Average: 73.0, Last 5: 70, 94, 84, 104, 109.

Steve Johnson. 2007 Average:94.8, Career Average: 70.8
Vs Port – Average: 70.3, Last 4: 90, 75, 88, 40.

Cameron Ling. 2007 Average: 79.8, Career Average: 83.3
Vs Port – Average: 79.8, Last 5: 61, 96, 94, 106, 84.

Port Adelaide

Shaun Burgoyne. 2007 Average: 79.9, Career Average: 70.1
Vs Geelong – Average: 85.3, Last 5: 112, 87, 122, 55, 63.

Peter Burgoyne. 2007 Average: 89.3, Career Average: 74.0
Vs Geelong – Average: 65.1, Last 5: 65, 37, 77, 88, 52.

Domenic Cassisi. 2007 Average: 87.5, Career Average: 61.0
Vs Geelong – Average: 49.8, Last 5: 74, 78, 58, 45, 27.

Chad Cornes. 2007 Average: 101.2, Career Average: 82.2
Vs Geelong – Average: 90.8, Last 5: 117, 109, 121, 85, 77.

Kane Cornes. 2007 Average: 107.4, Career Average: 84.2
Vs Geelong – Average: 93.4, Last 5: 114, 145, 131, 76, 68.

Best of luck - choose wisely! And cheer on your DTers on the biggest day on the AFL calendar.

(Stats from Monty's awesome Fan Footy site -

DT Talk Finals League - Week 3

Wow.. Big news for DT Talk fans.. Our Super Hero and Super Host, Roy has made the top 13! Yes, top 13 of the whole world in DT! Good work big gun! And we can't take anything away from Jarryd who is 2nd in the nation.. or even the consistent Jackson whos is 11th. The DT Talk league has some stars! Good work people! Lets see if one of us can win the car!

(league rank, team name, coach, score this week, total points, national ranking)

1. Penultimate Team - Jarryd - 6333 - 12682 - 2
2. KEK OMG - Jackson - 6204 - 12543 - 11
3. destROY - ROY - 6372 - 12528 - 13
4. The Gunny Bombers - 6231 - 12517 - 14
5. Dare to Dairy - Gregory - 6312 - 12499 - 22

Other league members of interest:

43. Calvinator - VIN VIN - 5835 - 11902 - 1449
59. Merv Grey Autos - CHOOK - 5956 - 11727 - 2861
64. Warne Dawgs - WARNIE - 6144 - 11673 - 3457
96. I'm Not Harrpppyyy - CHOPPER - 5646 - 11368 - 7441
138. Tackling Tit-ed - TITTA - 5466 - 10758 - 18199

The Grand Final is next week - for quadruple points!! That means four lotsa the points you normally get!! So... captain selection is important! You can choose up to 12 players from either team... do your research and if the car can't be yours, maybe the DT Talk T-Shirt and DVD Bock's Set can be!

A reminder to all DT Talk fans to get onto a DT Talk T-Shirt or Stubby Holder on eBay by clicking here!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

All Australian DT Scores

Here comes the nerdyness of the DT Talk boys. How many points would the actual 2007 All Australian Team get if they all got their average one week (rounded to the closest whole number).

B: M. Scarlett (64), D. Glass (41), D. Milburn (85)
HB: A. McLeod CAPT (84), M. Egan (42), C. Brown (59)
C: K. Cornes (107), J. Bartel (114), C. Cornes (101)
HF S. Johnson (95), J. Brown (94), B. Harvey (96)
F: B. Johnson (100), M. Pavlich (102), C. Mooney (77)
R: D. Cox (101), D. Kerr (93), G. Ablett (99)
INT: B. Lade (76), D. Fletcher (84), J. Corey (104), C. Ling (80)
TOTAL POINTS: 1982 points

Not that great! However, if the DT Talk Team of 2007* got their average it would look something like this:

B: A. Carrazzo (100), J. Bowden (95), J. Sinclair (88)
HB: T. Lockyer (101), A. McPhee (89), J. Adcock (89)
C: J. Corey (104), M. Priddis (90), D. Swan (102)
HF: P. Chapman (103), N. Riewoldt (99), C. Cornes (101)
F: G. Ablett (99), B. Johnson (100), S. Johnson (95)
R: D. Cox (101), K. Cornes CAPT (107), J. Bartel (114)
INT: D. Fletcher (84), B. Harvey (96), J. White (87), M. Pavlich (102)
TOTAL POINTS: 2253 points

DT Talk Team of 2007 are easy winners! And Eddie, there are some 'Pies in there!

* This team was announced on the YouTube show towards the end of the season.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Injury Update - Finals Week 3

The final four teams battling it out for a Grand Final berth are pretty close to full strength, which is nice for DT coaches.

Collingwood's Josh Fraser should return after being a late withdrawal last week (which hurt some DT's). Matthew Egan from the Cats is apparently 'doubtful', but at the All Australian team function thing last night, he said he was right. Watch this space!

News today said that Roos forward Corey Jones will miss the rest of the season with his injured foot and Port Adelaide's Nick Lower and Damon White are a week away from returning.

DT Talk Episode #15

In the 15th installment of the amazingly popular (haha) DT Talk YouTube Show, Roy is delightend in the Chris Judd to Carlton rumours and we check on the DT Talk Finals League after a new ad celebrating DTOPIA (not Septopia as the AFL are calling it). That Chris Crocker 'guy' from the internet (leave Britney Spears alone) isn't happy about the treatment that Nathan Bock has received on the show this year and has some words to say about that! Roy got a letter about a pretty cool Portugese beer. Vin tries to prove to us that you can get pissed on 'lite' beers. We plug our awesome stubby holders and t-shirts (go to and search for "DT Talk") and finally, Chopper 'chops' another player! A sensational episode!!

Sunday, September 16, 2007

DT Talk Finals League - Week 2

Well, another huge week in the DT Talk Finals League! We had the extra time in the Eagles v Magpies game (good for some extra DT Points), some blokes who didn't 'buddy' step up this week, late withdrawals and a double points round that made our scores look bigger!

The correct answer for captain this week was Dane Swan with 316pts followed by Matt Priddis (286pts), Dean Cox (278pts) and Shane O'Bree (250pts).

(league rank, team name, coach, score this week, total points, national ranking)

1. Penultimate Team - Jarryd - 4284 - 6349 - 10
2. KEK OMG - Jackson - 4272 - 6339 - 12
3. Project Mayhem - Brent - 4296 - 6287 - 24
4. The Gunny Bombers - Luke - 4254 - 6286 - 25
5. cooney=hack - Alex - 4314 - 6285 - 26

Other league members of interest:

18. destROY - ROY - 4138 - 6156 - 169 (5th in Tassie)
22. Calvinator - VIN VIN - 4006 - 6067 - 404
53. Merv Grey Autos - CHOOK - 3978 - 5871 - 1718
71. I'm Not Harrpppyyy - CHOPPER - 3964 - 5722 - 3861
105. Warne Dawgs - WARNIE - 3642 - 5529 - 8652
150. Tackling Tit-ed - TITTA - 3520 - 5292 - 16745

There are 4 teams left in the AFL Finals Series, which means you can choose players from Geelong, Collingwood, Port Adelaide and Kangaroos. Once again, a maximum of 6 players are allowed from each team and this week it's triple points round.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Official DT Talk T-Shirts

The brand spanking new DT Talk T-Shirts are available for pre-order from eBay. Head on over to and search for DT Talk or click here to go straight to our listed items.

Featuring everyones favourite masked man, Chopper, they contain his catch phrase "I'm Not Happy" on a very tough black shirt!

These professionally made tees will be posted first week of October. Cost of the shirts is $20 each ($5 postage) available in sizes XS-XL. For more info on sizing, head to the eBay page.

Stubby holders are also available with the same print for $10. Buy more than one item, and pay only one lot of shipping!

Get on it!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Juddy is not alright with me.. this week!

Big news is that the Juddernaught - Chris Judd is out with Ben Cousins (ink related hamstring injury). Way not to step up in finals boys... But West Coasters will be happy that Ashley Hanson and Chad Fletcher are back (decent DT point getters).

Kangas got rid of Corey Jones for his god awful DT score (and his sore foot) and Leigh Brown to bring in draftee Lachlan Hanson (can he hit the DT big time this week??!!) and Ed Lower (who??!!).

The Hawks and Magpies have named an unchanged team... but there could be some late withdrawals or injury concerns... (Hodge, Brown, Cloke - but should all play)...

Double points round - don't f*ck it up! Go DT Talk league - biggest in the whole comp!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

DT Talk Episode #14

This week is a jam packed episode with an update of how the biggest DT Finals league is going (yes, our DT Talk League), we hear from an angry Vin in the States who has had a few too many light beers and we check out what Ben Cousins' tattoo really says. Our old mate AB from Perth sent in a new song - so we made a film clip for it - another tribute to Kevin Sheedy called "Sheedy Yeah", this time from the Aboriginal players that he has helped over the years. Chopper is never happy and this week he has a lot of reason to be - 187th in our DT Finals league... pathetic, so he takes it out on some under achieving players from the weekend - a great Chop's Chopping Block! All that and more on everyones favourite YouTube show all about Dream Team!

Injury Update - Finals Week 2

Some big injuries for DT Finals coaches to think about ahead of this weekend's Semi Final matches.

Firstly, the West Coast Eagles will be depleted - say goodbye to Ben Cousins for the year with a torn hammy, captain Chris Judd who has been carrying an "I-can't-run-or-get-the-ball-or-even-make-my-DT-coaches-happy" injury for a while now, is likely to miss this week and Matt Rosa will miss with a stuffed shoulder. Keep an eye on David Wirrpanda's groin and Brett Jones' scone (possible broken nose and cheekbone damage) as both could sit out or if they play, stink it up!

The other concerns for this weekend are the sore knees of Luke Hodge (Hawthorn) and Anthony Rocca (Collingwood). These dudes hurt themselves during the game, but played them out with DT scores of 109 and 111 respectively. Hodgey's team mate, Campbell Brown ran into the goal post on Saturday, but from all reports he is mega keen to play, and probably will.

If you caught any of Monday's new reports, you might have seen Kangaroos' football operations manager Donald McDonald (yes, that is his real name) telling the media about some players with injuries and 'sore spots' as he put them. Behind him, Corey Jones (a pitiful 55 DT points on the weekend) was hobbling along on crutches... maybe we have to count him out!

Monday, September 10, 2007

DT Talk Finals League - Week 1

228... yes that's right 228 people entered the DT Talk Dream Team Finals league and what a hot contest it is! Some very average performances by so called DT guns (Brent Harvey, Joel Corey - we're looking at you!)

(league rank, team name, coach, score this week, national ranking)

1. pixies - Nikita - 2129 - 27
2. PAFCsince1870 - Daniel - 2112 - 53
3. ChipsIsNotGoodAtDT - Jenny - 2090 - 128
4. [insert name here] - kez - 2078 - 198
5. KEK OMG - Jackson - 2067 - 285

Other league members of interest:

7. Calvinator - VIN VIN - 2061 - 341
25. destROY - ROY - 2018 - 1230
106. Merv Grey Autos - CHOOK - 1893 - 9705
110. Warne Dawgs - WARNIE - 1887 - 10415
179. Tackling Tit-ed - jamie - 1772 - 24850
186. I'm Not Harrpppyyy - CHOPPER - 1758 - 26437

I'm sure there are a few coaches out there that aren't happy! Don't forget you can actually "chop" everyone from your team this week and start again. You can have a maximum of 6 players from any one team (just a reminder it's Collingwood, Kangaroos, Hawthorn and West Coast this week) and round 2 of the finals series is worth double points. It's like everyone is a captain! Good luck!

How did you go this week? Where are you ranked? Post your position in the comments.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

DT Talk Episode #13 - Mad Monday Edition

The Mad Monday Episode of DT Talk features Warnie celebrating his DT league win over Vin in style with a lap of honour on Launceston's AFL venue, Aurora Stadium (also see what happens when 'security' come). We announce the HUGE prizes for the winner of our DT Talk finals league (remember to join, league code: 648912) and give you some handy hints leading into the series. Due to popular demand, the vice captains and captains of the DT Talk Team of 2007 are announced with some controversy. We find out who win's the carton on Gamble-Vin and Chop tries to flog off a Kevin Sheedy/James Hird tribute CD (listen to the full versions of these songs at All that and much more on the number 1 DT Show on YouTube!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Bartel a certain starter

Geelong coach Mark Thompson has just made the job of being a coach in the all-new AFL finals dream team competition* that bit harder by confirming that gun middie Jimmy Bartel will start in the Cats' qualifying final against the Kangaroos on Sunday.

With a limit of three players from any one team, Joel Corey, Paul Chapman and Gary Ablett were shaping as the obvious must-haves in blue and white hoops. Now Bartel's back, one of them must get the chop. Keep in mind that Bartel took a couple of weeks to warm up after his head injury earlier this season. But, then, Corey, Chapman and Ablett are all prone to the odd poor performance, too.

If you like a punt (like Gamble-Vin), then consider oft-injured Sydney defender Tadgh Kennelly and West Coast's delapidated leader Chris Judd. If they make it on to the ground, either is capable of being a 120-point gamebreaker, or a 20-point prick.

Whatever you do, don't pick defender Matthew Egan. The big Cat's out with a broken foot.


* Join the DT Talk league (code = 648912)

Thursday, August 30, 2007

DT Talk Episode #12 Grand Final Edition

Part One

This is part one of the 'movie length' (oh well, 20mins) Grand Final Edition of DT Talk! In this video we find out about Warnie making the Grand Final against Vin, have a listen to some of our mates talk about DT this year, catch up with Vin in the USA, our opinion on possible changes to the DT competition for next year - please vote NO, We check out the latest odds in Gamble-Vin, answer a letter from a girl and let you know how you can be in our DT Talk Finals league (code: 648912). Make sure you watch part two after this one! Get on it!

Part Two

This is part two of the 'movie length' (oh well, 20mins) Grand Final Edition of DT Talk! We finally announce the centres, rucks and forwards (along with the bench) in our DT of '07, some more questions from our friends, an ad (in the jungle one day.. in a land far away.. haha..), Chop goes on a rampage at the MCG and we get a visit from the great man - live in the studio! Fantastic stuff! Make sure you have watched part one first! Get on it! Keep an eye out for the Mad Monday episode next

Friday, August 24, 2007

Bomber Bartel Out For Season

A possible Brownlow Medalist, but more importantly, this year's best DT player, Jimmy Bartel will be our for the rest of the (Dream Team) season. He has had surgery to remove his appendix, but the club is hopeful that he will be back for finals. This doesn't help the 48,000+ DT coaches that have been happy with his 2288 points this year at an average of 114.4 points per game. A massive spanner in the works leading into the Preliminary Finals.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

DT Talk Episode #11 - Prelim Final Edition

Here is this week's installment of DT Talk the YouTube show. Stay tuned next week for a HUGE Grand Final week show - something special up our sleeves! Hope you enjoy!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Thursday, August 09, 2007

DT Talk Episode #9

Watch it now.. its good!

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Captain Selection: Round 18

Here are my 'hot tips' for captain selection this week:

Gary Ablett Jnr: averages 90pts vs Richmond (inc. 129 in rd 6 this yr)
Bomber Bartel: averages 90pts vs Richmond
Jonathon Brown: averages 85pts vs Kangaroos (last 3: 75, 141, 100)
Peter Bell: averages 100pts vs WC in the last 13 games
Chad Cornes: averages 82pts vs Adelaide (last 3: 115, 126, 137)
Tyson Edwards: averages 89 in last 7 games vs Port Adelaide
Brett Kirk: averages 84 vs Melbourne (last 4: 129, 129, 68, 126)
Heath Scotland: averages 84pts vs Collingwood (last 3: 123, 112, 98)
Dane Swan: averages 97pts vs Carlton (last 3: 123, 136, 114)
Scott West: averages 90pts vs St Kilda (named but in doubt)

I would be looking at the ever reliable Chad Cornes (who loves the SA derby), the Brownlow Medal favourite Gary Ablett Jnr, or Jonathon Brown (who is starting to find some form).

Warnie xx

Last Roster Game: Ins and Outs

Many DT coaches (amount of coaches in brackets) welcome back Justin Koschitzke (87,648), Lance Franklin (75,585), Scott West (60,239), Dustin Fletcher (35,032), Xavier Ellis (33,959), David Wirrpanda (28,444), Tim "who" Boyle (22,176), Sam Mitchell (21,224) and Aaron Davey (15,711).

Over 65,000 coaches will be scratching their heads over Aaron "weak arse shit" Sandilands who will miss the rest of the season due to a hernia. Other notable guys out this week (and possibly longer - check for updates) are Cameron Bruce, Matthew Lappin, Anthony Koutoufides, Scott Pendlebury, Corey Enright and Des Headland.

That is meaning there are a lot of 'big guns' out still. Being the last DT roster games this round, and many spots in the finals being hinged on this weeks results, coaches are having to make some big calls! Have a good think about your position in the 8, is it worth trading?

Trades will be valuable in finals... an injury could be the difference between winning and losing! And the difference between some big bucks too...

Good luck this week!

Warnie xx

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

DT Talk Episode #8

This week we discuss our "Players of the Week"... We check out how each of us went with our "Gamble-Vin" bets and place our bets for this round... Cross to Vin in the USA for "Letters to Calvin"... and we give another player the chop on "Chop's Chopping Block"... along with some other fantastic banter between your favourite footy show panellists!

This is the last "Roster Game" Episode of DT Talk... So be keen for what we have in store for you during the finals - starting next week...

Warnie xx

Monday, July 30, 2007

The Real JB

Sorry to post this, but a bench player of mine (who has been getting a run since Wirrpanda has been out) had an awesome game on Saturday night...

Troy a couple of months back has this to say about him:

"I recon before the weeks games you should have a look at the amount of people in the country that have selected Jarrod Brennan. Then, at the start of next lockout, have a look at how great that difference has become. Divide the difference by 100, if your answer is 600 or more, and you are one of these statistics……give yourself an uppercut. I must warn you, I’m bulimic, yes, I can read minds. I know how many DTers are not going to be able to resist Brennan up in the top 5 on the leader board, and at such a bargain price. Yes I must admit, you will be instantly rewarded with a price increase, however, it will be short lived. Rest in peace though, you will not be alone in your disappointment, there will be thousands of DT bargain hunters like yourself, hanging their head in shame wishing for that "precious" trade to be returned. Ps. Ice your lip."
Well.. Warnie stuck by the big gun.. and all I've got to say is:

Kicks: 45 pts
Handballs: 0 pts (haha.. good DTing)
Marks: 30 pts
Tackles: 16 pts
Frees Against: -9 pts (oooh...)
Hit Outs: 1 pt
Goals: 42 pts
Behinds: 5 pts (good work, 12 out of 15 kicks were shots at goal)
Thanks to the real JB for 130 fabulous points...

Warnie xx

ps... I wan't some of Troy's insightful words again... they were brilliant! Where are you Troy Boy?!

All-Australian DT

Well.. kinda DT, kinda not... if you want ANOTHER challenge in your little DT world, then this could be for you: The Coke Zero AFL All Australian Game. Wow!

Basically, (I haven't looked at it properly yet) you pick who you think is going to be All Aussie players and you get points and can win some prize... check out the details here: and maybe you can be awesome at this too...

But, whatever you do... don't let it interupt training/trading for a big DT finals campaign...

Warnie xx

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Mmmmm... Doughnuts!

The story of this round are the 'outs' which will hurt many DT coaches who are fighting for a position in the 8. Many, including my DT Talk vidcast conterpart, Roy, are saving their trades for the finals... but, it seems, trades may have to be used! Especially when some of these dudes are the big guns.

These are some of the guys who are out this week, and the amount of DT coaches who are scratching their heads over what to do:

Justin Koschitzke (90,581), Lindsay Gilbee (62,443), Tom Hawkins (44,116), Xavier Ellis (35,697), Paul Chapman (24,711), Leo Barry (21,482), Andrew Walker (17,359)...

Lindsay "Girls Name" Gilbee has been the big news of the round. Lounge rooms, bars, water coolers and forums have been filled will talk about who to trade him out for - as he will be out for at least the first week of (DT) finals.

With many injuries and suspensions, our bench guys are having to play and can prove to be the difference between winning and losing those important end of season games! But if they are on that injury list too (take note of Xavier Ellis and Tom Hawkins this week)... then 'ouch' !!

So many equations are going through my head... this week determines whether I finish in the top 4 or not! Being Simpsons week - we are all like Homer and love our 'Doughnuts', but not the DT kind!

Warnie xx

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

DT Talk Episode #7

Now, I don't know if this will work, but here goes... DT Talk Episode #7 is now online for your viewing pleasure!!

See "10 Questions in 10 Seconds" with Tackling Tit-ed, a skit about the "DT Player of the Week" (which is much more pro than anything we have ever done!), "Gamble-Vin", answer a letter and the sensational "Chop's Chopping Block"...

Watch it now:

Warnie xx

Letters to Calvin

We don't have enough time to answer all questions on the DT Talk vidcast... so, I have decided to post some questions here (especially ones that we do answer, but run out of time to put on the show). So here goes:

Jarred wrote: "hello fellow dream teamers. i am in a league wit my mates and with 2 weeks to go just sitting outside the 8. i have james hird sitting on my bench and want to no whether or not it is worth keeping him or to get rid of him? signed concerned dreamteamer"

Thanks for your letter Jarred! I can't believe you still have Jim! Now, as a Bombers supporter, I love him, but as a DT coach - he's gotta get the 'chop'! Do you not read the fantastic injury update site ( or check out the great updates on the AFL site ( or even read the Herald Sun site ( Jim will be out for at least 2 more weeks, and with you needing wins to make the 8: CHOP, CHOP, CHOP HIM!

Alright, well... you didn't say which position... whether you are double trading, etc... so here are my tips!

If he is a centre - sell him for either Enright (good form, on the rise) or Judd (if you don't have him, nows the time to pounce)... if he is a forward for you - knock him off for Cloke (yeah I hate him too, but is in good form) or O'Keefe (nice and consistent, average is on the rise)...

Warnie xx

Sheeds says senore

Another coach bites the dust. As with Neale Daniher, Chris Connolly and Denis Pagan before him, Essendon legend Kevin Sheedy was today lauded for the professional and manner in which he conducted himself at the press conference which announced his "dignified" exit.

It'd be a nice change if some of these blokes went beserk at these things. You know, like Sheeds shattering the desk with the face of the CEO of the club he's coached for 27 years. Like Pagan popping a journo in the eye when he reminds him how successful he was at Arden St. Like Daniher trashing the room and launching into a profanity-riddled tirade against his players in response to a question about all those yo-yo years. Like Connolly taking a leaf out of his star forward's book and mooning the media pack.

Anyway, we've got our hands on a transcript of Sheeds' speech. In one section, he says:

"This decision is directly related to an improvement in my Dream Team form this year. Yep, I'm ripping it. After a couple of seasons languishing in last place, Kev's All-Stars have a real shot at making the eight in my league. I'm therefore retiring to focus all my energy on getting my team into the DT finals. Fuck Jimmy Hird, I'm making Jimmy Bartel captain this week. Oh, and all you Herald Sun journos: SuperCoach sucks the big one."


DT Talk Vidcast

Good morning! This is a bit of a test, as the great man, Chook, has struck a 5-figure deal with us to get our thoughts written down here on the original (and best) DT Talk Blog!

Anyway, I know I can never write as good as Chook, but I am just letting you know that the new DT Talk Vidcast (Episode # 7) will be available at our YouTube site later tonight! We have a couple of segments that need to be filmed this afternoon and will hopefully have it online mid-evening! If you haven't watched the show ever before... check it out at and hopefully you can get hooked - and maybe even call yourself a fan! If you would like to write to us, leave a comment here, or email us at!

Hopefully you will hear some insightful comments from all of us on here from time to time!

Warnie... xx

(sorry Chook for bad grammar and shit)...

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

New crew

Can't get enough of those likable blokes who put together the DT Talk vidcasts each week? They don't know it yet, but, after some serious wheelin' and dealin' at the trade table, Vince Misdom and Merv Gray have been axed to make way for our on-screen superheroes Warnie, Roy, Chopper, Vin and the Vin Twin.

Don't fear, the boys will still pump out the weekly talk show that's so far beamed Nathan Bock, Graham Polak and, most importantly, FanFooty supremo Monty into your lounge rooms. Now, though, you'll get all the advice and insights that couldn't fit into a 10-minute YouTube episode.

Welcome on board, fellas.


Sunday, July 22, 2007

DT Talk Episode #6

Watch this now.

Gamble-Vin returns. The Vin Twin debuts. AFL players chip in. It's just all-round awesomeness.

Watch it.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

DT Talk Episode #5

We've come to expect laughs on the DT Talk show, but now we're getting teary, too.

The DT Talk team announce the departure of panelist and all-round legend Calvin, who, if the rumours are to be believed, has been headhunted by ESPN to front their fantasy NFL coverage in the US.

On a lighter note, the boys ponder the merits of a DT vice-captain, Vin gives us the latest captaincy odds and Chopper does what he does best - chop.

Calvin, Sandilands is the only one happy to see you go.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Cash cows come home

Dream Team farmers, it's time to go to market.

Two of this season's best cash cows, Melbourne middie Ricky Petterd and turbo-boosted Essendon forward Alwyn Davey, are on their respective clubs' long-term injury lists after serious ouchness struck in round 14.

Dees doctors reckon Petterd was only minutes away from death after he suffered a collapsed lung in Sunday's match against Carlton. They say he's a slight chance to play again this year, but I wouldn't be holding your breath (ED: unassailable leader for worst pun of the year). If you got on him before his third game (and subsequent price rises), Petterd would have made you about $120,000.

Davey, meanwhile, would've netted you a nifty $150,000 if you had him from week one to last weekend, when he snapped his arm. He's due to miss 8-10 weeks.

Trades will be dictated by the needs of each team, of course, but there'll be a fair buch out there looking to upgrade Petterd to one of the bevy of prime-movers currently at bargain-basement prices. Scottie West has dropped to $330k (but wait for his injury verdict first), Nick Dal Santo's still around the $300k-mark, Kane Cornes is at $375k with a breakeven of 200-plus, Heath Scotland costs about $325k and Simon Black's a steal at $275k (just don't tell Chopper you brought him in).

Even DT points leader Jimmy Bartel has dropped under $400,000 for the first time in yonks after injury cruelled his efforts in the past two weeks. He needs a Jason Dunstall-like score of 226 to breakeven this week, though, so it'll pay to bide our time.

Finally, you'll need to bench Daniel Kerr, Dustin Fletcher and Mark McVeigh this week after the tribunal tonight handed them all one-game bans.

Merv Gray.

Friday, July 06, 2007

I'll have the Brown-Clarke combo, thanks

There'd be a fair bit of saliva on keyboards across the country this week as DT coaches drool over the addition of Richmond's messiah, Nathan G. Brown ($235,600, fwd), and Collingwood's quick-learning kid Marty Clarke ($69,600, ctr) to their teams.

Both are set for big price rises (Brown up almost $40k and Clarke a mighty $60k) if they maintain the impressive form shown thus far. In fact, Clarke's breakeven score of -101 is the second lowest after Melbourne cash cow Ricky Petterd's -105 in round 8.

Brown looms as a juciy option for those who, like the Carlton Football Club, have lost patience with must-have-a-spear-in-his-head forward Brendan Fevola, while Clarke will provide back-up to those midfields with doubts over Chris Judd and Jimmy Bartel.

You'd have thought Clarke would have been pushing his case for the best Irishman in the AFL tag again this week, but Sydney defender Tadhg Kennelly looks set to snatch back that mantle after another speedy recovery.

Merv Gray.

DT Talk Episode #4

This has been up for a while now (sorry, guys), but that doesn't make it any less watchable.

This week, Warnie lauds his team after it soared into the 2100s, Street Talk makes it debut at a recent "fun"-ction, and, because it's Heritage Round, the boys revisit one of their shows from the mid-90s. Banana.


Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Bartel looking S-H-to-tha-izzarp

Geelong coach Mark Thompson reckons DT points leader Jimmy Bartel will pull on the boots this Friday night, despite being rushed to hospital during the Cats' round 13 clash.

Thompson said: "At tha moment he's in, its a day-to-day th'n yeah yeah baby. Today he was really bubbly, bright n alert. There was a shawty bit of doubt yesterday, thats gizzy today, he might come in tomorrow wit a few problems. We're just gonna have ta wizzy probably until Friday ta see killa he's really clear n S-H-to-tha-izzarp . Tru niggaz do niggaz."

Oh, hang on, that was what DT enthusiast and gangsta rapper Snoop Dogg said about Bartel.

Here's what Thompson said.

"At the moment he's in, it's a day-to-day thing. Today he was really
bubbly, bright and alert. There was a little bit of doubt yesterday, that's gone
today, he might come in tomorrow with a few problems. We're just going to have
to wait probably until Friday to see whether he's really clear and sharp."


Thursday, June 28, 2007

DT Talk Episode #3

Geelong gun-stopper Cameron Ling may have a tough time tagging his opponent this week... to see why you've got to watch the third, and funniest, installment of the DT Talk vidcast with Roy, Vin and Warnie.

The episode also features The Shocking Truth - a new segment that this week stars some squinty, mumbling bloke (me).

Take 10 minutes to have a look at this inimitable vidcast (except by The Footy Show who last week ripped off DT Talk's Harlem Globetrotters idea). You'll get a buzz out of this - I know I did.


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Round 13: unlucky for some

In the previous post, Merv Gray noted that Dream Team's most popular player, West Coast whiz Chris Judd, will miss round 13 with a groin injury.

That body blow's now a one-two punch with the competition's second-most-picked player, St Kilda big man Justin Koschitzke ($284,300, bac/fwd) , hurting a hammy at training today. Early estimates have the injury sidelining Kosi, up almost $15,000 after his first-half hundred on the weekend, for 2-4 weeks.

Vince Misdom.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Groin grief for Judd owners

You might have seen the bit in the blog head up there that says "Juddy is still alright by me".

Well, he ain't. (But the headers have been done in Photoshop [snazzy, eh?] and I can't be bothered changing them all).

Thousands of DT coaches had to make an early morning call to their midfield emergencies to cover the West Coast star when he pulled out of Sunday's loss to the Saints. Both of mine had been drinking the night before, Byron Pickett-style, resulting in a sub-par effort by one and a no-show by the other.

Now we learn that Judd ($366,100, ctr) will sit out the Weagles' game against Adelaide on Sunday, with speculation his injury may lead to an even longer lay-off. With other injuries starting to bite, it's conceivable that Dream Team's most popular player with more than 120,000 selections may be trade bait for a number of coaches this week.

Elsewhere, Adelaide midfielder Simon Goodwin looks unlikely to overcome his injury in time for the West Coast-Adelaide showdown either. The news is better for Brisbane co-captain Luke Power, who is rated a strong chance to return in Saturday night's game against Port Adelaide.

Merv Gray.

DT anti-heroes

Is the poor form of Wrecking-Ball Hall ruining your Dream Team hopes?

Did you snap up the One-Handed Wonder, Jared Brennan, after his sizzling start to the year, only to see him sucking gigantic ass after round two?

Were you tempted by the 2006's greatest DTer, best and fairest winner or leading goal-kicker and then swore/sobbed as Jonathan Brown, Adam Goodes and Brendan Fevola whittled away hundreds of thousands of your precious DT dollars?

Maybe you're maddest at Heath Shaw - a superhero when James Clement's riding shotgun but a DT disaster when the skipper's on the pine?

Vote for the villains who have caused you the most grief this season here, or in the comments below.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Monty makes his DT Talk debut

So, it's Thursday night - teams night - and you can't make a trade. The best way to fill the Robert DiPierdomenico-sized hole in your DT week is by watching the second episode of DT Talk's vidcast.

This week, FanFooty's fearless leader Paul Montgomery stars in the 10 questions in 10 minutes segment via satellite, while Roy has a crack at Adelaide yo-yo Nathan Bock. This is Logie-winning material.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

No charges for cheeky Tarrant

The Darwin politician allegedly punched by Freo forward Chris Tarrant ($311,700, fwd) says he doesn't want police to charge the former Magpie - good news if Taz is holding down a spot inside your DT's forward 50. Before you breathe a sigh of relief, though, remember that the Dockers were pretty heavy-handed when fellow forward Jeff Farmer played up earlier this year. Tarrant's worth more to the Dockers than Whiz ever will be, but you can still expect to see the susposed bum-barer sidelined for at least a few weeks.

Definitely out for a forecast two months is Port Adelaide onballer Steven Salopek ($287,900, ctr). Like Taz, Salopek was averaging 80 DT points a game before he fractured his ankle in Sunday's big win against Essendon. The affect his absence will have on DT stars Kane and Chad Cornes is likely to be minor, but one beneficiary could be Domenic Cassissi, who pocketed a chunk of his 133 points after Salopek departed.

Whether Nathan G. Brown ($235,600, fwd) repays the faith of the 7000 DT coaches who stuck by the Richmond star throughout his injury run remains to be seen, but he gets his chance on Friday night. Tigers coach Terry Wallace today confirmed the former All-Australian will play against Melbourne. Plough also said that potential ruck hero Troy Simmonds ($300,300) will line-up for VFL affiliate Coburg this weekend.

Elsewhere, Essendon ruckman David Hille was slapped with a one-game ban for his biffo with The Chad, while Western Bulldogs baldie Nathan Eagleton has been sentenced to two games for striking Tarrant. He'll contest the charge next week.

Merv Gray.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Selecting a skipper

Every week on the Big Footy forum there's countless numbers of DT coaches wanting to know who to pick as their on-field leader. As Hodges noted yesterday, these are the coaches without Jimmy Bartel.

Deciding who to entrust double-point duties to can be bloody nerve-wracking, so use this fail-safe checklist to take the sting out of choosing your captain.

1. Are they injured, suspended or shithouse? Straight-forward question that narrows the field considerably.

2. Are they consistent? Chris Judd and Brad Johnson have been installed as season-long skippers in many a DT team due to their ability to (almost) guarantee about 85-100 points every game. However, neither racks up 150s very often. If you're a betting man, use your captain's armband elsewhere.

3. Who are they playing? Sydney has built a reputation as a DT killer. Rarely is it a good idea to send your captain into battle the Swans. Also, some players have genuine bogey teams. Monty's marvelous FanFooty site can tell you whether your captaincy candidates crap themselves against certain opposition.

4. Are they wearing their lucky underpants? This one is harder to get stats on but just as important.

5. Where are they playing? Home or away? As you'd expect, most do better on their own turf. Matthew Pavlich is a notable exception, with the Freo forward faring much better in Melbourne than at Subi. Then there are other factors like the size of the ground and the weather. Are they playing under the roof at the Telstra Dome or under driving rain in Darwin; in the confines of the SCG or the open spaces of Launceston's Aurora Stadium?

6. Do they have gingervitis? Taking a punt on a carrot-topped captain is risky business indeed. For more information, see

7. Will they attract a tag? Elite players like the aforementioned Judd have to break the shackles at every stoppage. Sometimes the taggers get on top. Less-effective blokes like Dane Swan, on the other hand, are free to roam wherever they please.

8. Do they have a point to prove? Having a player who's been sledged during the week isn't necessarily a bad thing. It might make them ideal captaincy material on the weekend. Also consider players coming up against a former team which they left in a foul mood. Okay, this really only applies to Jason Akermanis.

9. Any off-field distractions? Consider all the intangibles that could affect a potential captain's output. Has their brother been sending them menacing texts during the week, for example?

10. Milestone match? Playing their 200th game? Two goals short of 1000 in their career. Expect these blokes to give it everything.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Back with a bang

You might have seen the official Dream Team vidcast at A couple of blokes chin-wag for a while before an AFL player joins them for a chat.

Well, we can't promise AFL stars each week, but DT Talk's own vidcasting team does boast the services of Chopper - an axe-wielding wild man who has no time for underachieving DTers. Each You Tube episode also features the rest of DT Talk's on-screen talent - Roy, Vin and Warnie - chewing the fat about all things DT. This week, the boys slam their underachievers, analyse the "happy-withs" and provide all AFL players with some handy hints on how to up their DT points production.

There's a whole bunch more, too, so check it out at

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Aussie v Irish punch-on

So a big Aussie bloke and a tough-as-nails Irishman go the fisty-cuffs. I'm not talking about the Blues' training ground bust-up, but a bar-room brawl here in Queenstown, NZ. Yes, the DT Talk gang is enjoying a mid-season break across the Tasman. This post, then, is merely an impassioned plea to the four people who read DT Talk to stick with us until our return in round 11.

Maybe four was a bit presumptuous.

Merv Gray, Chook and The Wisdom.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Stat of the round: 26

Okay, this post is purely the result of boredom running rife at work tonite.

The lowest-scoring DT teams for round 9, bar all the incomplete teams that nabbed a dougnut, were *drum roll* Juddy3 and Br1sbane in a tie with 26 each. Juddy3 reached the giddy heights of 26 points courtesy of since-dumped Richmond forward Jack Riewoldt, while Br1sbane managed his spectacularly shit score through Melbourne rookie James Frawley, and, ah, nope, that was the only player is team to trouble the statisticians.

Clearly the coaches of these two teams were expecting season-long strike action by the AFL's best players, with their places to be taken by rookies and duds. Hang in there, guys. It might happen.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Return of the Roo

At $294,800, fit-again Adelaide skipper Mark Ricciuto isn't likely to tempt too many coaches this week but, hey, there are plenty of suckers out there. No doubt Roo will make me eat my words... Rhan Hooper has done. Earlier this week, Brisbane coach Leigh Matthews indicated that Hooper did his dash when he, um, dashed from the Lions den during the pre-season. Well, he's been named along with veteran Chris Johnson who has recovered from a foot injury. You'd think the inclusion of Johnson and Mitchell Clark should give Jonathan Brown a better chance of cracking a century this week.

Adelaide ruckman Jonathan Griffin would of been in many coaches' outboxes after he added insult (-1 points) to injury (ankle) last week. Crows coach Neil Craig may have forced a rethink, however, after deciding to pick the Griff if he gets through a test tomorrow.

Bringing a broad grin to the faces of DT coaches everywhere is news that Geelong forward and veritable DT gun Paul Chapman is set to return from a hamstring injury this week. This bloke goes through DT points faster than Mark Philippousis does "it-girls".

Merv Gray.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Warne Dawgs go straight to the source

We all know how serious this Dream Team business can be. Unhappy with recent performances from his side, Warne Dawgs coach Bobby Child has posted the following letter to all 30 AFL players on his roster. This is not some dumb gag. He actually sent this letter to the players, I shit you not. (PS - if the letter has an impact on his side's DT ranking, I'm getting on the blower to Heath Shaw).

Dear “Warne Dawgs” Dream Team players,

As your Dream Team Coach, I am writing to share with you my disappointment on our season thus far. We are currently sitting in 15th place on the “Outram Street” ladder with our god awful record 1 win, 5 losses. The supporter base was expecting a lot more this season, especially after a positive preseason.

I know early on, we had some devastating losses. First week, we played against destROY, and lost by 24 points – it was a shame we had the 2nd highest score of the competition… but, defenders, please don’t rest on your laurels. We are the 5th worst team defensively… We are scoring enough to come away with wins (bar the last couple of weeks where we had shocking scores of 1621 and 1712) but we are getting too much scored on us. Unlucky I know, so lets up our own individual scores.

Consistency is what I expect from everyone. You are priced at certain values for a reason… you were drafted into the Warne Dawgs because you have roles to fill. That is scoring what your price warrants. Thanks Jed Adcock, Adam Hunter, Alan Toovey, David Rodan, Joel Selwood, Bryce Gibbs, Gary Ablett Jr, Lance Franklin, Alwyn Davey, Xavier Ellis, Shannon Hurn, Lindsay Thomas, Mark Blake, Ben Hudson, Cleve Hughes and Nathan Krakouer for doing your part, going up in value… But don’t rest at this boys… Just learn from Jared Brennan’s mistakes… you know – he was climbing in value, a great pick up by the Warne Dawgs at the start of the season but as coach, I had to sit him on the pine, to have a good hard look at himself, and what does he go and do, gets dropped from the Brisbane team!

Now we all love Sheeds and his insightful comments on the game, but I don’t agree with him about his stance on late withdrawals/injuries. We need to know this (and its not for gambling as Sheeds says), if you are injured, let me know – I wont leak it to the media, etc.. As your coach, I must know these things… I don’t want to be running out there with 21 players because some boofhead rolled their ankle at training and didn’t tell anyone! Thanks Brad Johnson this week – much doubt about whether you would play or not, but you pulled though and got us 97 points.. Well done! I was pumped last week, after having you captain, and looking dodgy at ¾ time, you got enough cheap kicks towards the end to notch up a respectable captains score. Thanks Chad Cornes (captain this week) for pulling through also – my faith is always there with you my man! Put that crap Sydney game behind you…

This also goes for being smart on the ground… with our list of 30, we cant afford injury or suspension! Chris Judd – give yourself an uppercut… You are in the best DT form ever – reliable, and doing all the things I expect… You are a ‘gimmie’ captain when I want, but Juddernaut, that was silly! You are better than that – you still got us 100 points, after starting the game with -3 from that holding the ball against you… So mate, this suspension will hurt… Your mate Shannon Hurn will probably come in, and will definitely need to step up! Make me proud Hurn Dawg!

I would like to bring up the discipline in the team. This week was one of our worst for free kicks against. Don’t work hard and get a kick if you are just going to give it up easily with a free kick against. Is there a culture at Hawthorn? Sam Mitchell and Lance Franklin had shockers on the weekend – Buddy, you have had 17 frees against for the year! That is -51 just from being stupid! Come on Buddy (“My Boy” as my mate Chop calls you – who is the only guy we have beaten in DT this year) you are better than that… a potential Brownlow winner according to Chop, I say Brown-no!

Just some words of advice… we will call them team rules:
- Kick, don’t handball (kicks worth 3pts, handballs worth 2pts)
- Lay tackles… these are worth 4pts, and hey, you might get a free for
- Lead and mark (please hold these – eg. Buddy…)... easy 3pts
- Lindsay Gilbee (or anyone else) – when taking kick outs, kick it to yourself, then it actually counts as a kick in the stats
- Have a look who are on the Warne Dawgs, kick it to them… not anyone else, your first option should be team mates. When it comes to ‘junk time’, get near each other… rack up a few points together. If they are playing on the opposition, let them tackle you (but get a kick away)
- Don't spoil the ball, smother or shepard, although these are all good 1%ers, they get you zero points and therefore, waste of time and effort (and possible injury).
- Don’t bounce the ball! Draw a player and handball around them, then pick up and kick. One of the few time a handball is a good decision.

If we can live up to my expectations of you, then we can finish with 2130pts per round which is even competitive enough to get us the $1000 bonus for the week! The following are expectations from me based on your price and ability:

- 100pt players (get me 100pts and I’m happy…. 80-99pts, I’ll take that, but less than 80pts, not doing your job boys): McPhee, McLeod, Judd, Thompson, Mitchell, Cox, Johnson, Cornes, Ablett, Pavlich, Brown.
- 90pt players (90pts is what I want, 70-89pts good, less than 70pts.. grrr): Gilbee, Adcock, Wirrpanda, Hunter, Sandilands, Franklin.
- 80pt players (80pts will be great, 60-79pts ok, less than 60pts.. hmm.. tackle more): Rodan, Selwood, Gibbs, Davey, Hurn, Hudson, Blake.
- 70pt players (70pts yeah baby, 50-69pts is alright… less than 50pts tho, scab some cheap kicks): Toovey, Brennan, Ellis, Thomas, Krakouer, Hughes.

I don’t like to be public with trade talk, but sorry… people have to be accountable for the side’s bad form. On the chopping block are: Buddy Franklin, Sammy Mitchell, David Wirrpanda, Big Sandilands, Jared Brennan and Herschelle Gibbs. You have 2 weeks… you’re on notice!!

We need 8 wins out of the next 9 games. If you have any advice on the team, please let me know, as you are all in the Warne Dawgs leadership group.

Alright, not much more for me to say than… as Nollsy once sang “you gotta lift”… We are all capable players, a great group of blokes… Train hard this week, have those DT points in your sights, and lets get the Warne Dawgs on the winners list! Go Dawgs!

Monday, May 28, 2007

Hooper in the dog house

The guessing game is over for the 918 DT coaches who have kept the faith with runaway Brisbane recruit Rhan Hooper - Lions coach Leigh Matthews looks certain to keep him sidelined for the rest of the season.

For those who can't recall Hooper (fwd, $158,900), he's the little Lion that went AWOL in the pre-season. Lethal today said: "He's suffering from the fact that he had two months away from preparation. It's probably going to wreck his whole year."

In contrast, Lethal reckons young Irishman Colm Begley is almost certain to regain his place in the Lions team to play Richmond at Telstra Dome on Saturday night after impressing in the reserves.

Merv Gray.

Hot spot special

Richmond forward Nathan Brown (fwd, $235,600) looks set to take a step towards regaining his place in the Tigers line-up by turning out for Coburg this weekend.

That may be bad news for coaches who have brought in enthusiastic but largely ineffective Richmond forwards Jack Riewoldt and Cleve Hughes in recent weeks.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Stat of the round: 310

The St Kilda-Hawthorn match last weekend has copped a hiding, with most people other than Sydney chief Paul Roos lambasting it as "ugly" and other nasty things like "a blight on our game".

In DT terms, though, it was the Sydney-Port Adelaide game that was the absolute shocker. The stat of the round, 310, was the total number of DT points produced by Brett Kirk (31), Ryan O'Keefe (37), Chad Cornes (38), Danyle Pearce (48), Brendan Lade (46), Steven Salopek (55) and Shaun Burgoyne (55). Make Geelong terrier Jimmy Bartel captain and he'll go and get you that many points all by himself.

In the rounds leading up to last weekend's game, the aforementioned Sydney and Port players had averaged a combined 603 points. The worst offenders were the Chad (averaged 101 points before his 38) and Captain Kirk (who had averaged 90). Needless to say, some DT coaches got seriously shafted at the SCG on Sunday.

Merv Gray.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

He's The Voice, Try And Understand It

WARNING: The following may be distressing to some West Coast fans.

At a loss to explain the dip in Daniel Kerr's recent Dream Team form, the DT Talk team commissioned a report into the oft-troubled Weagles star.

The investigation found that the reduction in Kerr's points production happened to coincide with the emergence of celebrity singing show It Takes Two. Closer inspection of the programme, in which well-known Australians are paired with established vocal talents, revealed that Kerr has actually been performing as one of the singing stars!

Look at the photos below, of Kerr on AFL game day and during a recent It Takes Two performance, and tell us our findings are flawed.

No wonder his football is suffering. The Weagles are playing second fiddle to Kerr's until-now-secret singing ambitions. Word has it that Kerr instigated his two-match ban to spend more time fine-tuning his pitch. Worsfold in going to be pissed.


Sunday, May 20, 2007

Polo pops out

Richmond must this week decide whether to send Dean "did you see my debut?" Polo to the surgeon after his shoulder popped out of its socket again this weekend.

Polo ($244,100, ctr) returned to the field after the dislocation on Friday night, but he suffered the same injury in the pre-season, indicating it could be a long-term problem.

The Tigers are definitely going to lose hit-and-miss-but-mostly-miss forward Matthew Richardson for at least a week, maybe two, after the big guy's eyeball got mashed up in some friendly fire on Friday. Possible replacements include former Geelong forward Kent Kingsley, three-gamer Cleve Hughes or Nick's cousin Jack Riewoldt, who was close to a call-up last week.

Geelong captain Tom Harley, one of the best for the Cats' VFL side on the weekend, has made himself available for selection, while injured teammate Max Rooke also looks set to recover in time for the Cats' clash with Port Adelaide.

Another eyeing a return this week will be Fremantle middie Paul Hasleby (back soreness), while the out box could include names such as Essendon's Andrew Lovett and Brisbane's Cheynee Stiller.

Merv Gray.

Kerr-azy kid burns Brownlow bid

West Coast whiz Dan Kerr has taken his Brownlow Medal bid, ripped it up into little pieces, doused it in petrol and thrown a match in to the mix. You could piss on the pile to put it out, Dan, but let's face it - Charlie's not going home with you this year.

A high front-on bump against Melbourne Do-It-All-Man Cam Bruce has landed Kerr at Tuesday's sitting of the tribunal, where Freo's Michael Johnson was slapped with a four-week ban for a similar hit earlier this year.

You think he'd learn. After finishing runner-up in the Brownlow in 2005, Kerr was again one of the favourites last year until he dealt a low blow to Hawthorn's Sam Mitchell. Kerr was third-favourite this year but is sure to be ineligible after his hip-and-shoulder to Bruce's head.

What does it mean for DT coaches? Wait to see what the tribunal dishes out, but teams with trades to burn may be willing to show Kerr ($320,900 in round 8) the exit door if he attracts a lengthy ban.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Ben and Brad beat bans

Blood trickling down Ben Holland's forehead and into his eyes saved the Demons defender at the AFL tribunal tonight*. It seems the blood stopped him seeing straight, causing Holland to high-five Brad Johnson's face. For his part, Johnson was today let off a charge of head-butting Holland.

Now, I'm a fan of the red and the blue, but if Holland had got Johnson suspended this week, subsequently forcing me to insert one of my crappy emergencies into my already-suspect DT forward line, the blood'd be gushing, not trickling, down Holland's face. As DT Talk resident bogan Troy would say: "It'd toughen the cunt up".

Elsewhere, all those brawling Blues and Pies are right to go after the tribunal socked 'em with fines, not suspensions.

Geelong coach Mark Thompson reckons outspoken Cat Paul Chapman will be right to go this week. The player most likely making way appears to be misfiring young gun Tom Hawkins.

Richmond has hinted that Nick Riewoldt's cousin Jack is primed for senior footy. He probably is, but remember the Ricky Petterd Rule: wait until after Thursday night's team announcements before doing anything.

Speaking of Nick Riewoldt, the saintliest Saint looms as a major trade target for coaches across the country this week after a couple of solid performances. Don't think the other coaches in your league didn't notice Jesse Smith's 100-point effort on the weekend either. The $90,000 Roo backman is this week's Rising Star nominee.

Oh, and finally, Melbourne spear-tackler Byron Pickett has been told to spend four weeks with Sandringham after he got pissed on Saturday night and skipped Sunday's game, for which he was an emergency. The only real surprise is that Pickett was the only drunk Demon on Sunday. The rest played like they were hung over.

* Say "tonight" like you're the high-pitched lead singer of a glam-rock band - think Kiss, or The Darkness if you're closer to 13 than 30 - and realise it's impossible to supress a grin. Told you.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Stat of the round: 21

That was the DT points difference between Hawthorn midfield duo Sam Mitchell (125) and Luke Hodge (104) in round 7. I know because, after an awfully close contest, the winner of this Sunday afternoon intra-club duel looked set to decide whether I won or lost my DT league game.

You see, I had Hodge and my opponent had Mitchell in what proved to be a tight tussle. (I followed it from my computer at work on the excellent FanFooty). Obviously Mitchell, who Hodge has previously admitted to having as captain of his own DT, won by a healthy margin in the end. But the gap between the pair for much of the match was rarely more than a fistful of points.

Other than to relate the tense final-player battle that decided my DT team's fate this week, this stat was chosen to ask coaches out there who they rate as the best midfield pairing in the AFL today. And we're talking DT-wise, of course. A lot of teams have got starting-to-sizzle Judd and gone-cold Kerr. Is old Westie and his apprentice, Dan Cross, a better pick? What about the Burgoyne double act? And, in reality, is there a case to be made for having two or more players from the one club selected across the centre, in defense, up front or in the ruck?


Merv Gray.

The Ricky Petterd Rule

All DT coaches worth their salt abide by this unspoken rule: never dip into your little bag of trades until after the teams are named on Thursday night. Better still, wait until just before lock-out on Friday arvo.

Ricky Petterd wrecked the weekend of a whole bunch of DT coaches who failed to follow this rule and snapped up the Melbourne rookie during the week. Those coaches couldn't resist the $50,000-$60,000 cash increase that Petterd promised after outstanding performances in his first two outings. Of course, hamstring soreness kept Petterd out of the Demons side and the DT coaches who drafted him in before Uncle Neale released his side were left with a big, fat hole in their midfield rotation.

So, coaches, adhere to the Ricky Petterd Rule and hold off on those trades, no matter how safe they seem, until Thursday night at the earliest.

This can, of course, be more difficult for the white-collar DT coach who has all-day access to the internet during office hours. What better way to wile away the afternoons than to scawl through the player lists, searching for the trade that's going to turn your pretenders into contenders?

The temptation to trade early can be overwhelming for these people. But there is a way: get yourself banned from the internet at work. To do this, simply send hugely offensive emails to your fellow employees, and "accidentally" cc management types.

If this doesn't work, download porn. And lots of it. Print some out and leave it lying around the water-cooler. You may be making your trades from the local library from now on, but at least you'll leave them until Friday, right? From this point on you live by the Ricky Petterd Rule: only touch the trade button after the teams are announced on Thursday night.

Merv Gray.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Solomon sinks, Baker bombs

Dream Team coaches who've been basking in the warm glow of Dean Solomon's improved DT form this season will have to bench the Fremantle defender this week after the tribunal ordered him to sit out the Dockers' match against Hawthorn.

The former Essendon player ($218,300, bac) has been rubbed out for kneeing Brisbane's Jason Roe.

Also at the tribunal, St Kilda tagger Steven Baker ($268,200, bac) was suspended for two weeks. The ban, of course, will come as no surprise to those DT coaches who picked the often-booked Baker. Such coaches factor time in the naughty corner into the decision to draft players like Baker. By "players like Baker", I mean those repeat offenders who keep Tuesday nights free for dates with tribunal panelist Wayne Schimmelbusch.

While we're speaking of Schimmelbusch, who has the silliest surname in the AFL today?

I'm betting about 90 per cent of the 21,724 DT coaches who picked West Coast youngster Llane Spaanderman did so soley for his surname.

Nominate players for the Wayne Schimmelbusch Award for Stupid Surnames by hitting the comment button below.

Merv Gray.

Stat of the round: 94

That was the highest individual DT score posted by Adelaide in its clash with Collingwood, making the Crows the only side that failed to crack the 100-point barrier on the weekend. Four other teams (Carlton, Sydney, the Kangaroos and Fremanlte) managed just one player in triple figures, while the club with the most 100-pointers was Essendon, which had seven. Goal-greedy Geelong had six players burst through the 100-point barrier, as did Collingwood and lowly Melbourne.

For the record, Simon Goodwin was the Crow that clocked 94 points. Shame on you, Adelaide, shame on you.

Monday, April 30, 2007

The All-JB Team - just brilliant

Carlton coach Denis Pagan should put Jordan Bannister on the paddock, sit back and watch the DT points flow like el vino. You see, Bannister's initials have him destined for DT greatness.

At the back of the All-JB team you've got Richmond's rebound ace Joel Bowden. He can link up with Geelong gun Jimmy Bartel, whose forward target is none other than Brisbane beast Jonathan Brown. The ruck division is, admittedly, a work in progress. But St Kilda's Jason Blake can hold his own. The emergency is a toss-up between Jude Bolton and Jarred Brennan.

Can the JBs be beaten? If you think of a better set of initials (you'll need a back, centre, forward, ruck and emergency), then post it below.

Conditions of Cousins' release

Can someone have a word in the ear of the West Coast management group? Apparently the club is set to put Ben Cousins (ctr, $374,200) through a series of stringent conditions before they let the former substance abuser and Brownlow medallist play again.

One of those conditions should be that Cousins give struggling DT coaches a chance to shine by performing so terribly that he drives his exorbitant price into the ground. Once he's affordable, he'll be expected to star, of course. This can be arranged, right?

Merv Gray.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Farmer goes out swinging

A bit of biffo at the local disco has seen Freo forward Jeff Farmer (fwd, $257,900) bumped from the Dockers' squad just a week before he finished serving his ban from a pre-season incident. At least that was for an on-field discretion.

The 2200 DT coaches who'd stuck by Jeffrey through his current suspension should know the Dockers have banished the alleged bouncer basher to the WAFL wilderness until at least round 13.

Merv Gray.

Stat of the round: 169

The mind-boggling number of DT points Western Bulldogs dogged midfielder Scottie West racked up in round 5.

To put that in perspective, 169 was the number of DT points Carlton blood-nut Lance Whitnall had after four rounds. And you could have had five Adam Goodeses this week (28 points) and you'd still fall short of the Westinator's output this week. What a weapon.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Action Movie Dream Team

Just coz you're gunna have some spare time up your sleeve between the Anzac clash and the regular stuff on the weekend...

You've got $10m to spend on your action movie dream team. You must have one ass-kicker, one thinking man's action star, one villain, one ass-kicker doubling as the flick's hot chick and two action scenes.

You must have one player in this position.

Jean-Claude Van Damme (Universal Soldier) $2m
Arnold Schwarzenegger (Terminator) $2.6m
Sylvester Stallone (Rocky) $2.4m
Bruce Willis (Die Hard) $2.3m
Wesley Snipes (Blade) $1.6m
Chuck Norris (Missing in Action) $0.9m
Steven Seagal (Under Siege) $1.4m
The Rock (Welcome To The Jungle) $0.6m
Eric Bana (The Hulk) $0.8m
Brandon Lee (The Crow) $2.2m

Thinking man's action stars
You must have one player in this position.

Christopher Reeves (Superman) $1.8m
Tom Cruise (Mission Impossible) $1.1m
Brad Pitt (Troy) $1.6m
Mel Gibson (Mad Max) $1.7m
Hugh Jackman (X Men) $1m
Nic Cage (Con Air) $0.9m
Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones) $1.5m
Tobey Macguire (Spiderman) $0.7m
Keanu Reeves (Speed) $0.8m
Michael J Fox (Back to the Future) $1.4m
Pierce Brosnan (James Bond) $1m

The villains
You must have one player in this position.

Joaquin Phoenix (Gladiator) $1.5m
Anthony Hopkins (Silence Of The Lambs) $2.3m
Predator (Predator) $1.8m
The shark (Jaws) $2m
Darth Vader (Star Wars series) $2.2m
Jack Nicholson (Batman) $1.4m
Gene Hackman (Superman) $1.2m

Ass-kickers doubling as the flick's hot chick
You must have one player in this position.

Cameron Diaz (Charlie's Angels) $2m
Jennifer Garner (Elektra) $1.6m
Jessica Alba (Fantastic Four) $2m
Halle Berry (Swordfish) $2.2m
Uma Thurman (Kill Bill) $2.1m
Sharon Stone (Basic Instinct) $1.3m
Demi Moore (GI Jane) $1.1m
Catherine Zeta Jones (Entrapment) $1m
Sigourney Weaver (Aliens) $1.2m
Neve Campbell (Scream) $1.7m

Action scenes
You must have two player in this position.

Car chase $1.9m
Boat chase $1.1m
Sex scene $2m
Airplane crash $1.5m
Kung-fu scene $1.8m
Exploding building $1m
Defusing a bomb scene $0.8m

Post your movie name and stars below.

Fiddling around in the dark

It's 4am, you're pissed off your nut and you can't find the key that unlocks the front door.

Okay, you get a key in the lock and twist. It snaps off and makes a loud clinking sound as it hits the tiles. You wonder who put tiles outside your front door. Five minutes later, you realise it isn't your house.

What's any of this got to do with DT, you ask? Well, picking your team on a Wednesday morning without the benefit of team news for all but two of the AFL clubs is akin to the situation above. You're pretty much fucked, whatever you do.

Your only aide, or the early-morning takeaway pizza to continue the analogy, are the ins and outs of the Collingwood-Essendon clash. They're Bradley, Bolton in and Hille, Jetta out for Essendon, and Didak, Bryan in, Licuria, Richards out for the Pies.

Merv Gray

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Champion "knew nothing"

Sheema Tamatoa, who was making her fantasy comp debut last year, trumped thousands of "football experts" and walked away with the grand prize – despite having never followed AFL before.
What? The startling snippet above was found on Coke's Dream Team site. Seems knowing a thing or two about footy is not a prerequisite to winning the DT comp.

What Troy recons: round four

People, or whatever you are, Troy is back...

I recon that my brennan article last week was harsh, but he still managed to underachieve against my bold prediction. Even though the bar I so harshly set him was the equivalent to the 1 metre high jump. You know, in high school where they place the bar at the same height as the mat for the dud kids. I apologise to all those people that did get him in, you probably hate me. I am not one to say I told you so, so I wont, I just hope that you followed through with the upper cut (not too hard) and I hope brennan gave himself a huge one that causes him to miss a week, giving you an extra week to cut your losses and get rid of him before he drops way back down. He had good scores in Brisbane and or against shit teams. With that theory in mind, there is hope this week, I will admit. Good luck.

I recon it sucks arse that dream team can come so close to breaking up strong/long term relationships. For me, the worst time came in the last days of unlimited trading. It was like my girlfriend all of a sudden wanted to do all this stuff at really bad times. I’m sure you can all relate to what I’m saying, there are times when you really need to spend a good hour picking between a couple of players. I’m sure girls have a sixth sense in predicting these times and conjure up elaborate schemes to get you away from the computer. Now I live with a pack of dream team fanatic arseholes that spend as much time trying to fuck up everyone else’s team as they do selecting their own. I have not discounted the fact that they may have been putting these thoughts in her head. I have tried reverse psychology, (you get a team babe, you’d be good at it) (I cant wait to take you out with the 50,000 I can win if I put in the hours and ill take you on the best holiday) all to no avail unfortunately. Dream teamers, remember this, DT is thicker than water, girlfriends come and go, but DT lasts forever. Stay strong team.

I recon that the DT draw to play others in your league, have not been done fairly. Well, I am really just speaking from experience. Im currently ranked 3rd in my league and my first 5 games are all top 6 teams. I don’t like that. I like a couple of bunny teams chucked in so I can have a few good nights sleep and shit like that. There is a chance I have a couple of form slumps and be 0 and 5 and sitting rock bottom!! Ahh hang on, I gotta grab my fucking asthma spray at the mere thought of that shit! Ok, im right now, but seriously, not cool. Oh yeah, someone asked last week where im sitting in the rankings. Doesn’t get me a whole lot of street cred, but im 2000th or so and improving. I know its not too good at the moment, but I know what im talking about and still gunning for the elite.

I recon it is bullshit that every DT try hard I talk to, has “another team” that they whipped up and don’t care about. These “other teams” are always going really well and shit like that. How about you harden the fuck up and stop self handicapping. Have some balls and stop second guessing yourself, and go with your first thoughts with your number one team instead of having your “other team”.

I recon it is funny how the biggest talking point in australia at the moment is dt. No matter where you are, you can feel comfortable asking somebody “hows the dt mate?” “who you got as captain champ?” and you will get an answer. If you don’t get an answer, or they look at you with a blank look, don’t worry, they are a wanker and stop talking to them. These people need to get a life. It was funny the other Saturday night, I was sitting with my dream team buddy in the saints member section at Telstra drome (not a saint fan). The worst thing you could do there was mention a positive word about the bulldogs. If you were so stupid, you could expect a beer thrown at your head, abuse thrown your way, or even sauce flicked at you….. low I know, but yes tomato sauce!! Anyway, I witnessed the most daring thing ive seen in a long time. A (mega hardcore) kid in front of me, stood up and passionately cheered a goal by adam cooney. I ducked in anticipation of what was to come. As the tension grew, he came up with the only possible answer to get him out of the deepest shit ever. As the saints faithful loaded up, he pulled the old, “come on guys, he is my dream team captain, I need the points” haha, all good, he was out of it. All he copped after that was a couple of fair calls along the line of, “you must have a fuckin shit team mate” yes he must.

Tip for the week- make lion JB your captain. Not jono brown, jared brennan. Ok warnie?

Troy out.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Play it again, Sam

Finally, an explanation for the high number of possies Hawthorn's Sam Mitchell racks up each week. Hawk hard-nut Luke Hodge has revealed that Mitchell is the captain of his dream team. Everytime Hodge looks to off-load the footy, finding Mitchell must be his first priority. The only mystery left is why Hodge doesn't implore handball-happy Mitchell to kick it more?

Sunday, April 15, 2007

My, what a big score you have!

A comment to the previous post shouldn't go unnoticed. Warnie noted that, back when he had hair, Hawthorn full-forward Jason Dunstall would have amassed 214 DT points in a match against Richmond. On that day in 1992, Dunstall had 25 kicks (75 points), 4 handballs (8), 18 marks (54), 5 frees for (5), 2 frees against (-6), 17 goals (102) and 5 behinds (5).

Warnie goes on to question whether that was the biggest DT score ever. Know of any that would top it, or any that come close?

Merv Gray

A bad dream

Anyone else in the Pepsi AFL Nightmare Team competition?

In this comp, you try to trade in the expensive-but-worth-it Bowden but get the just-as-expensive-but-far-crappier-and-not-even-selected-this-week Bowden instead. You use your second trade on Nathan Ablett, thinking "if I fuck up and get the wrong brother again, at least Gary Jnr can pull his weight". You do fuck up, but not by picking Gary Jnr. Instead, you wind up with their dad, Gary Snr - the prodigious footballer who would have been a guaranteed 100-points-a-week scorer in his day, but is worth jack to your team now he's hung up the boots.

It really starts to go pear-shaped when, just after the Friday deadline closes, Kevin Sheedy and Leigh Matthews reveal to reporters that three of your star players will "definitely" miss the Essendon-Brisbane clash on the Sunday. A strange twist of good fortune, however, sees all three of your emergencies play rip-snorters on Saturday.

  • Your centre emergency had 43 touches. And not a Sam Mitchell 43 either; most of them were kicks. Jess's online calculator says he's worth about 150 DT points.
  • Your emergency in the backline takes 27 marks and lays 14 tackles before being moved forward in the final term. He kicks three late majors and is looking good for about 160 DT points.
  • Up forward, your emergency kicks 12 goals. He could have had 15 easy but sprayed a couple right in front. No matter, you'll take the 140 DT points he's racked up.

Or you would have, but the three players who were supposed certainties to sit out the Essendon-Brisbane game all play. And really badly, as it turns out. They combine for a meager 17 points and, more importantly, keep your emergencies ensconced on the bench. You get hold off both coaches' numbers and abuse them over the phone. "You're a lying bee-atch," you screech. It makes you feel a little bit better but your DT score still sucks ass.

At least my captain will come through, you say, having picked the ever-reliable Chris Judd to lead the team. But he gets pinged for holding the ball seven times early in the first quarter and then breaks his leg in three places. Obviously, he plays no further part in the match and his score of -21 for all those frees against is doubled. That really hurts.

In the final game of the round, the knife is twisted when two dogs have their day - Simon Prestigiacomo and Darryl Wakelin each amass over 160 points. They, of course, were the two players you dumped at the start of the round for crappy Bowden and God, and the captains of every other team in your league.

Got your own Pepsi AFL Nightmare Team story? Post it in the comments below.


Thursday, April 12, 2007

Malthouse makes his move

What a sneaky prick Mick Malthouse has turned out to be. Clearly the Collingwood coach has Shannon Cox, Alan Toovey and Brad Dick in his AFL Dream Team side. The week before the players' prices start to shift, Malthouse names all three $82,300 youngsters in the Pies' team to play Richmond tomorrow night. Making way were Daniel Nicholls and Shane Wakelin, and the injured Ben Johnson.

On a busy night at selection tables around the league:

  • A foot injury has forced the Kangaroos to drop veteran Glenn Archer for Sunday's match against Hawthorn.
  • The Hawks have sent midfielder Tim Clarke to the surgeon for his achilles tendon to be chopped up. He'll miss about 12 weeks.
  • After losing star forwards David Neitz and Russell Robertson in Monday's defeat at the hands of Hawthorn, the Demons have now been forced to omit defender Jared Rivers because of hamstring soreness. Adem Yze and Clint Bizzell were among six inclusions.
  • The Cats added David Johnson, Kane Tenace and James Kelly to a long bench.
  • St Kilda named fit-again Nick Riewoldt for his season debut but fellow co-captain Luke Ball will miss a second match with the head injury he sustained in the opening round. The Saints, without defender Max Hudghton, also named upgraded rookie Clinton Jones.
  • The Bulldogs have replaced hamstrung Jason Akermanis with fullback Brian Harris, among three changes to the team to play St Kilda.
  • Richmond has named ruckman Troy Simmonds for the Collingwood clash but will make the final call tomorrow. The Tigers did, however, drop the crappy Bowden brother, Patrick.
  • West Coast pair Mitchell Brown and Jaymie Graham have lost their places to ruckman Dean Cox and key forward Ashley Hansen. Their opponents, the Dockers, have added Justin Longmuir, Troy Cook and Steven Dodd. Freo's Brett Peake is out with a collarbone injury.
  • Port Adelaide brought in skipper Warren Tredrea after the big forward booted seven goals in the SANFL last week. SA rival Adelaide regained star utility Brett Burton, but Graham Johncock and tagger Robert Shirley were both sidelined by injury.
  • Essendon recalled defender Nathan Lovett-Murray after losing Andrew Welsh to a hamstring injury.Long-time absentee Richard Hadley was named in the Lions' squad alonside Nigel Lappin and Jamie Charman.
  • Sydney named bustling Barry Hall but he could still miss the match after injuring his knee last week.

Merv Gray

Matthews keeps DT coaches guessing

Brisbane Lions coach Leigh Matthews is closing on Essendon counterpart Kevin Sheedy's record of feeding ambigous or misleading line-up information to media. The latest out of Leigh's mouth is that ruckman Jamie Charman will make his season debut against Sydney this week. He could. But how many times have DT coaches been burnt after taking Matthews on his word. He also reckons Richard Hadley and Jason Roe are in the selection mix this week, while there's doubt over whether blog favourite Nigel Lappin will be return to the side.

Elsewhere, ankle surgery will keep Richmond ruckman Trent Knobel sidelined for the first half of the season. With Troy Simmonds still out, young Adam Pattison's stocks look set to rise.

Western Bulldogs fullback Brian Harris returns from suspension at an opportune time with the Dogs up against a potent St Kilda side on Saturday. Key forward Nick Riewoldt is set to rejoin a Saints side that boasts Fraser Gehrig, Justin Koschitzke and Stephen Milne.

In disheartening news for DT coaches who have been riding the coat-tails of West Coast tall Mark Seaby so far this season, the Eagles' first-choice ruckman, Dean Cox, says he's a sure thing to play in the all-WA clash against Fremantle on Saturday night.

Merv Gray

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

What Troy recons: round two

DT Talk is delighted to announce that it has struck an exclusive deal with AFL Dream Team expert Troy. Starting today, the celebrated columnist will bring his insightful comments to the world's best blog about the AFL Dream Team with a green background. Take it away, Troy...

Here are my top 5 things I recon about this weeks DT.
1. I recon that it isn’t healthy that some nights I lose sleep, laying wide awake like a stunned mullet, thinking about who I could trade and or regretting my captain. (thanks a lot Adam Goodes for showing me big fat doughnuts so far this year as my under achieving captain). The one good thing about having Goodes as my captain is that after his score has been doubled, it almost looks respectable on the team sheet.

2. I recon that there are a lot of DT new comers that will be very upset at the end of next week. They will say, "I wish I had understood the trade system better, and then I would have done this ……and……this." While having a good old cry about it. To them, I offer an early plea of "harden the fuck up"

3. I recon before the weeks games you should have a look at the amount of people in the country that have selected Jarrod Brennan. Then, at the start of next lockout, have a look at how great that difference has become. Divide the difference by 100, if your answer is 600 or more, and you are one of these statistics……give yourself an uppercut. I must warn you, I’m bulimic, yes, I can read minds. I know how many DTers are not going to be able to resist Brennan up in the top 5 on the leader board, and at such a bargain price. Yes I must admit, you will be instantly rewarded with a price increase, however, it will be short lived. Rest in peace though, you will not be alone in your disappointment, there will be thousands of DT bargain hunters like yourself, hanging their head in shame wishing for that "precious" trade to be returned. Ps. Ice your lip.

4. I recon that teams have to be punished for late withdrawals. Not only are committed DTers pulling their hair out at the lies being fed to us through the naming of teams, my tote account is screwed.

5. I recon the best thing you can do is follow your gut instinct, don’t listen to friends advice, you cant trust anybody in this game. They, more than likely know something you don’t and are trying to screw you. Have no friends, don’t talk to anybody, just spend the next few months with your team. It is ok to become attached to your players, its bonding and more often than not, it gets the best out of them.