Conditions of Cousins' release

Can someone have a word in the ear of the West Coast management group? Apparently the club is set to put Ben Cousins (ctr, $374,200) through a series of stringent conditions before they let the former substance abuser and Brownlow medallist play again.

One of those conditions should be that Cousins give struggling DT coaches a chance to shine by performing so terribly that he drives his exorbitant price into the ground. Once he's affordable, he'll be expected to star, of course. This can be arranged, right?

Merv Gray.