DT Talk Episode #3

Geelong gun-stopper Cameron Ling may have a tough time tagging his opponent this week... to see why you've got to watch the third, and funniest, installment of the DT Talk vidcast with Roy, Vin and Warnie.

The episode also features The Shocking Truth - a new segment that this week stars some squinty, mumbling bloke (me).

Take 10 minutes to have a look at this inimitable vidcast (except by The Footy Show who last week ripped off DT Talk's Harlem Globetrotters idea). You'll get a buzz out of this - I know I did.

Chook.

Round 13: unlucky for some

In the previous post, Merv Gray noted that Dream Team's most popular player, West Coast whiz Chris Judd, will miss round 13 with a groin injury.

That body blow's now a one-two punch with the competition's second-most-picked player, St Kilda big man Justin Koschitzke ($284,300, bac/fwd) , hurting a hammy at training today. Early estimates have the injury sidelining Kosi, up almost $15,000 after his first-half hundred on the weekend, for 2-4 weeks.

Vince Misdom.

Groin grief for Judd owners

You might have seen the bit in the blog head up there that says "Juddy is still alright by me".

Well, he ain't. (But the headers have been done in Photoshop [snazzy, eh?] and I can't be bothered changing them all).

Thousands of DT coaches had to make an early morning call to their midfield emergencies to cover the West Coast star when he pulled out of Sunday's loss to the Saints. Both of mine had been drinking the night before, Byron Pickett-style, resulting in a sub-par effort by one and a no-show by the other.

Now we learn that Judd ($366,100, ctr) will sit out the Weagles' game against Adelaide on Sunday, with speculation his injury may lead to an even longer lay-off. With other injuries starting to bite, it's conceivable that Dream Team's most popular player with more than 120,000 selections may be trade bait for a number of coaches this week.

Elsewhere, Adelaide midfielder Simon Goodwin looks unlikely to overcome his injury in time for the West Coast-Adelaide showdown either. The news is better for Brisbane co-captain Luke Power, who is rated a strong chance to return in Saturday night's game against Port Adelaide.

Merv Gray.

DT anti-heroes

Is the poor form of Wrecking-Ball Hall ruining your Dream Team hopes?

Did you snap up the One-Handed Wonder, Jared Brennan, after his sizzling start to the year, only to see him sucking gigantic ass after round two?

Were you tempted by the 2006's greatest DTer, best and fairest winner or leading goal-kicker and then swore/sobbed as Jonathan Brown, Adam Goodes and Brendan Fevola whittled away hundreds of thousands of your precious DT dollars?

Maybe you're maddest at Heath Shaw - a superhero when James Clement's riding shotgun but a DT disaster when the skipper's on the pine?

Vote for the villains who have caused you the most grief this season here, or in the comments below.

Monty makes his DT Talk debut

So, it's Thursday night - teams night - and you can't make a trade. The best way to fill the Robert DiPierdomenico-sized hole in your DT week is by watching the second episode of DT Talk's vidcast.

This week, FanFooty's fearless leader Paul Montgomery stars in the 10 questions in 10 minutes segment via satellite, while Roy has a crack at Adelaide yo-yo Nathan Bock. This is Logie-winning material.

No charges for cheeky Tarrant

The Darwin politician allegedly punched by Freo forward Chris Tarrant ($311,700, fwd) says he doesn't want police to charge the former Magpie - good news if Taz is holding down a spot inside your DT's forward 50. Before you breathe a sigh of relief, though, remember that the Dockers were pretty heavy-handed when fellow forward Jeff Farmer played up earlier this year. Tarrant's worth more to the Dockers than Whiz ever will be, but you can still expect to see the susposed bum-barer sidelined for at least a few weeks.

Definitely out for a forecast two months is Port Adelaide onballer Steven Salopek ($287,900, ctr). Like Taz, Salopek was averaging 80 DT points a game before he fractured his ankle in Sunday's big win against Essendon. The affect his absence will have on DT stars Kane and Chad Cornes is likely to be minor, but one beneficiary could be Domenic Cassissi, who pocketed a chunk of his 133 points after Salopek departed.

Whether Nathan G. Brown ($235,600, fwd) repays the faith of the 7000 DT coaches who stuck by the Richmond star throughout his injury run remains to be seen, but he gets his chance on Friday night. Tigers coach Terry Wallace today confirmed the former All-Australian will play against Melbourne. Plough also said that potential ruck hero Troy Simmonds ($300,300) will line-up for VFL affiliate Coburg this weekend.

Elsewhere, Essendon ruckman David Hille was slapped with a one-game ban for his biffo with The Chad, while Western Bulldogs baldie Nathan Eagleton has been sentenced to two games for striking Tarrant. He'll contest the charge next week.

Merv Gray.

Selecting a skipper

Every week on the Big Footy forum there's countless numbers of DT coaches wanting to know who to pick as their on-field leader. As Hodges noted yesterday, these are the coaches without Jimmy Bartel.

Deciding who to entrust double-point duties to can be bloody nerve-wracking, so use this fail-safe checklist to take the sting out of choosing your captain.

1. Are they injured, suspended or shithouse? Straight-forward question that narrows the field considerably.

2. Are they consistent? Chris Judd and Brad Johnson have been installed as season-long skippers in many a DT team due to their ability to (almost) guarantee about 85-100 points every game. However, neither racks up 150s very often. If you're a betting man, use your captain's armband elsewhere.

3. Who are they playing? Sydney has built a reputation as a DT killer. Rarely is it a good idea to send your captain into battle the Swans. Also, some players have genuine bogey teams. Monty's marvelous FanFooty site can tell you whether your captaincy candidates crap themselves against certain opposition.

4. Are they wearing their lucky underpants? This one is harder to get stats on but just as important.

5. Where are they playing? Home or away? As you'd expect, most do better on their own turf. Matthew Pavlich is a notable exception, with the Freo forward faring much better in Melbourne than at Subi. Then there are other factors like the size of the ground and the weather. Are they playing under the roof at the Telstra Dome or under driving rain in Darwin; in the confines of the SCG or the open spaces of Launceston's Aurora Stadium?

6. Do they have gingervitis? Taking a punt on a carrot-topped captain is risky business indeed. For more information, see http://www.gingerkids.org/

7. Will they attract a tag? Elite players like the aforementioned Judd have to break the shackles at every stoppage. Sometimes the taggers get on top. Less-effective blokes like Dane Swan, on the other hand, are free to roam wherever they please.

8. Do they have a point to prove? Having a player who's been sledged during the week isn't necessarily a bad thing. It might make them ideal captaincy material on the weekend. Also consider players coming up against a former team which they left in a foul mood. Okay, this really only applies to Jason Akermanis.

9. Any off-field distractions? Consider all the intangibles that could affect a potential captain's output. Has their brother been sending them menacing texts during the week, for example?

10. Milestone match? Playing their 200th game? Two goals short of 1000 in their career. Expect these blokes to give it everything.

Back with a bang

You might have seen the official Dream Team vidcast at http://www.afl.com.au/. A couple of blokes chin-wag for a while before an AFL player joins them for a chat.

Well, we can't promise AFL stars each week, but DT Talk's own vidcasting team does boast the services of Chopper - an axe-wielding wild man who has no time for underachieving DTers. Each You Tube episode also features the rest of DT Talk's on-screen talent - Roy, Vin and Warnie - chewing the fat about all things DT. This week, the boys slam their underachievers, analyse the "happy-withs" and provide all AFL players with some handy hints on how to up their DT points production.

There's a whole bunch more, too, so check it out at www.youtube.com/dttalk

Aussie v Irish punch-on

So a big Aussie bloke and a tough-as-nails Irishman go the fisty-cuffs. I'm not talking about the Blues' training ground bust-up, but a bar-room brawl here in Queenstown, NZ. Yes, the DT Talk gang is enjoying a mid-season break across the Tasman. This post, then, is merely an impassioned plea to the four people who read DT Talk to stick with us until our return in round 11.

Maybe four was a bit presumptuous.

Merv Gray, Chook and The Wisdom.

Stat of the round: 26

Okay, this post is purely the result of boredom running rife at work tonite.

The lowest-scoring DT teams for round 9, bar all the incomplete teams that nabbed a dougnut, were *drum roll* Juddy3 and Br1sbane in a tie with 26 each. Juddy3 reached the giddy heights of 26 points courtesy of since-dumped Richmond forward Jack Riewoldt, while Br1sbane managed his spectacularly shit score through Melbourne rookie James Frawley, and, ah, nope, that was the only player is team to trouble the statisticians.

Clearly the coaches of these two teams were expecting season-long strike action by the AFL's best players, with their places to be taken by rookies and duds. Hang in there, guys. It might happen.