Ben and Brad beat bans

Blood trickling down Ben Holland's forehead and into his eyes saved the Demons defender at the AFL tribunal tonight*. It seems the blood stopped him seeing straight, causing Holland to high-five Brad Johnson's face. For his part, Johnson was today let off a charge of head-butting Holland.

Now, I'm a fan of the red and the blue, but if Holland had got Johnson suspended this week, subsequently forcing me to insert one of my crappy emergencies into my already-suspect DT forward line, the blood'd be gushing, not trickling, down Holland's face. As DT Talk resident bogan Troy would say: "It'd toughen the cunt up".

Elsewhere, all those brawling Blues and Pies are right to go after the tribunal socked 'em with fines, not suspensions.

Geelong coach Mark Thompson reckons outspoken Cat Paul Chapman will be right to go this week. The player most likely making way appears to be misfiring young gun Tom Hawkins.

Richmond has hinted that Nick Riewoldt's cousin Jack is primed for senior footy. He probably is, but remember the Ricky Petterd Rule: wait until after Thursday night's team announcements before doing anything.

Speaking of Nick Riewoldt, the saintliest Saint looms as a major trade target for coaches across the country this week after a couple of solid performances. Don't think the other coaches in your league didn't notice Jesse Smith's 100-point effort on the weekend either. The $90,000 Roo backman is this week's Rising Star nominee.

Oh, and finally, Melbourne spear-tackler Byron Pickett has been told to spend four weeks with Sandringham after he got pissed on Saturday night and skipped Sunday's game, for which he was an emergency. The only real surprise is that Pickett was the only drunk Demon on Sunday. The rest played like they were hung over.

* Say "tonight" like you're the high-pitched lead singer of a glam-rock band - think Kiss, or The Darkness if you're closer to 13 than 30 - and realise it's impossible to supress a grin. Told you.