No charges for cheeky Tarrant

The Darwin politician allegedly punched by Freo forward Chris Tarrant ($311,700, fwd) says he doesn't want police to charge the former Magpie - good news if Taz is holding down a spot inside your DT's forward 50. Before you breathe a sigh of relief, though, remember that the Dockers were pretty heavy-handed when fellow forward Jeff Farmer played up earlier this year. Tarrant's worth more to the Dockers than Whiz ever will be, but you can still expect to see the susposed bum-barer sidelined for at least a few weeks.

Definitely out for a forecast two months is Port Adelaide onballer Steven Salopek ($287,900, ctr). Like Taz, Salopek was averaging 80 DT points a game before he fractured his ankle in Sunday's big win against Essendon. The affect his absence will have on DT stars Kane and Chad Cornes is likely to be minor, but one beneficiary could be Domenic Cassissi, who pocketed a chunk of his 133 points after Salopek departed.

Whether Nathan G. Brown ($235,600, fwd) repays the faith of the 7000 DT coaches who stuck by the Richmond star throughout his injury run remains to be seen, but he gets his chance on Friday night. Tigers coach Terry Wallace today confirmed the former All-Australian will play against Melbourne. Plough also said that potential ruck hero Troy Simmonds ($300,300) will line-up for VFL affiliate Coburg this weekend.

Elsewhere, Essendon ruckman David Hille was slapped with a one-game ban for his biffo with The Chad, while Western Bulldogs baldie Nathan Eagleton has been sentenced to two games for striking Tarrant. He'll contest the charge next week.

Merv Gray.

Hot spot special

Richmond forward Nathan Brown (fwd, $235,600) looks set to take a step towards regaining his place in the Tigers line-up by turning out for Coburg this weekend.

That may be bad news for coaches who have brought in enthusiastic but largely ineffective Richmond forwards Jack Riewoldt and Cleve Hughes in recent weeks.

Polo pops out

Richmond must this week decide whether to send Dean "did you see my debut?" Polo to the surgeon after his shoulder popped out of its socket again this weekend.

Polo ($244,100, ctr) returned to the field after the dislocation on Friday night, but he suffered the same injury in the pre-season, indicating it could be a long-term problem.

The Tigers are definitely going to lose hit-and-miss-but-mostly-miss forward Matthew Richardson for at least a week, maybe two, after the big guy's eyeball got mashed up in some friendly fire on Friday. Possible replacements include former Geelong forward Kent Kingsley, three-gamer Cleve Hughes or Nick's cousin Jack Riewoldt, who was close to a call-up last week.

Geelong captain Tom Harley, one of the best for the Cats' VFL side on the weekend, has made himself available for selection, while injured teammate Max Rooke also looks set to recover in time for the Cats' clash with Port Adelaide.

Another eyeing a return this week will be Fremantle middie Paul Hasleby (back soreness), while the out box could include names such as Essendon's Andrew Lovett and Brisbane's Cheynee Stiller.

Merv Gray.

Kerr-azy kid burns Brownlow bid

West Coast whiz Dan Kerr has taken his Brownlow Medal bid, ripped it up into little pieces, doused it in petrol and thrown a match in to the mix. You could piss on the pile to put it out, Dan, but let's face it - Charlie's not going home with you this year.

A high front-on bump against Melbourne Do-It-All-Man Cam Bruce has landed Kerr at Tuesday's sitting of the tribunal, where Freo's Michael Johnson was slapped with a four-week ban for a similar hit earlier this year.

You think he'd learn. After finishing runner-up in the Brownlow in 2005, Kerr was again one of the favourites last year until he dealt a low blow to Hawthorn's Sam Mitchell. Kerr was third-favourite this year but is sure to be ineligible after his hip-and-shoulder to Bruce's head.

What does it mean for DT coaches? Wait to see what the tribunal dishes out, but teams with trades to burn may be willing to show Kerr ($320,900 in round 8) the exit door if he attracts a lengthy ban.

Ben and Brad beat bans

Blood trickling down Ben Holland's forehead and into his eyes saved the Demons defender at the AFL tribunal tonight*. It seems the blood stopped him seeing straight, causing Holland to high-five Brad Johnson's face. For his part, Johnson was today let off a charge of head-butting Holland.

Now, I'm a fan of the red and the blue, but if Holland had got Johnson suspended this week, subsequently forcing me to insert one of my crappy emergencies into my already-suspect DT forward line, the blood'd be gushing, not trickling, down Holland's face. As DT Talk resident bogan Troy would say: "It'd toughen the cunt up".

Elsewhere, all those brawling Blues and Pies are right to go after the tribunal socked 'em with fines, not suspensions.

Geelong coach Mark Thompson reckons outspoken Cat Paul Chapman will be right to go this week. The player most likely making way appears to be misfiring young gun Tom Hawkins.

Richmond has hinted that Nick Riewoldt's cousin Jack is primed for senior footy. He probably is, but remember the Ricky Petterd Rule: wait until after Thursday night's team announcements before doing anything.

Speaking of Nick Riewoldt, the saintliest Saint looms as a major trade target for coaches across the country this week after a couple of solid performances. Don't think the other coaches in your league didn't notice Jesse Smith's 100-point effort on the weekend either. The $90,000 Roo backman is this week's Rising Star nominee.

Oh, and finally, Melbourne spear-tackler Byron Pickett has been told to spend four weeks with Sandringham after he got pissed on Saturday night and skipped Sunday's game, for which he was an emergency. The only real surprise is that Pickett was the only drunk Demon on Sunday. The rest played like they were hung over.

* Say "tonight" like you're the high-pitched lead singer of a glam-rock band - think Kiss, or The Darkness if you're closer to 13 than 30 - and realise it's impossible to supress a grin. Told you.

Solomon sinks, Baker bombs

Dream Team coaches who've been basking in the warm glow of Dean Solomon's improved DT form this season will have to bench the Fremantle defender this week after the tribunal ordered him to sit out the Dockers' match against Hawthorn.

The former Essendon player ($218,300, bac) has been rubbed out for kneeing Brisbane's Jason Roe.

Also at the tribunal, St Kilda tagger Steven Baker ($268,200, bac) was suspended for two weeks. The ban, of course, will come as no surprise to those DT coaches who picked the often-booked Baker. Such coaches factor time in the naughty corner into the decision to draft players like Baker. By "players like Baker", I mean those repeat offenders who keep Tuesday nights free for dates with tribunal panelist Wayne Schimmelbusch.

While we're speaking of Schimmelbusch, who has the silliest surname in the AFL today?

I'm betting about 90 per cent of the 21,724 DT coaches who picked West Coast youngster Llane Spaanderman did so soley for his surname.

Nominate players for the Wayne Schimmelbusch Award for Stupid Surnames by hitting the comment button below.

Merv Gray.

Malthouse makes his move

What a sneaky prick Mick Malthouse has turned out to be. Clearly the Collingwood coach has Shannon Cox, Alan Toovey and Brad Dick in his AFL Dream Team side. The week before the players' prices start to shift, Malthouse names all three $82,300 youngsters in the Pies' team to play Richmond tomorrow night. Making way were Daniel Nicholls and Shane Wakelin, and the injured Ben Johnson.

On a busy night at selection tables around the league:

• A foot injury has forced the Kangaroos to drop veteran Glenn Archer for Sunday's match against Hawthorn.
• The Hawks have sent midfielder Tim Clarke to the surgeon for his achilles tendon to be chopped up. He'll miss about 12 weeks.
• After losing star forwards David Neitz and Russell Robertson in Monday's defeat at the hands of Hawthorn, the Demons have now been forced to omit defender Jared Rivers because of hamstring soreness. Adem Yze and Clint Bizzell were among six inclusions.
• The Cats added David Johnson, Kane Tenace and James Kelly to a long bench.
• St Kilda named fit-again Nick Riewoldt for his season debut but fellow co-captain Luke Ball will miss a second match with the head injury he sustained in the opening round. The Saints, without defender Max Hudghton, also named upgraded rookie Clinton Jones.
• The Bulldogs have replaced hamstrung Jason Akermanis with fullback Brian Harris, among three changes to the team to play St Kilda.
• Richmond has named ruckman Troy Simmonds for the Collingwood clash but will make the final call tomorrow. The Tigers did, however, drop the crappy Bowden brother, Patrick.
• West Coast pair Mitchell Brown and Jaymie Graham have lost their places to ruckman Dean Cox and key forward Ashley Hansen. Their opponents, the Dockers, have added Justin Longmuir, Troy Cook and Steven Dodd. Freo's Brett Peake is out with a collarbone injury.
• Port Adelaide brought in skipper Warren Tredrea after the big forward booted seven goals in the SANFL last week. SA rival Adelaide regained star utility Brett Burton, but Graham Johncock and tagger Robert Shirley were both sidelined by injury.
• Essendon recalled defender Nathan Lovett-Murray after losing Andrew Welsh to a hamstring injury.Long-time absentee Richard Hadley was named in the Lions' squad alonside Nigel Lappin and Jamie Charman.
• Sydney named bustling Barry Hall but he could still miss the match after injuring his knee last week.

Merv Gray

Matthews keeps DT coaches guessing

Brisbane Lions coach Leigh Matthews is closing on Essendon counterpart Kevin Sheedy's record of feeding ambigous or misleading line-up information to media. The latest out of Leigh's mouth is that ruckman Jamie Charman will make his season debut against Sydney this week. He could. But how many times have DT coaches been burnt after taking Matthews on his word. He also reckons Richard Hadley and Jason Roe are in the selection mix this week, while there's doubt over whether blog favourite Nigel Lappin will be return to the side.

Elsewhere, ankle surgery will keep Richmond ruckman Trent Knobel sidelined for the first half of the season. With Troy Simmonds still out, young Adam Pattison's stocks look set to rise.

Western Bulldogs fullback Brian Harris returns from suspension at an opportune time with the Dogs up against a potent St Kilda side on Saturday. Key forward Nick Riewoldt is set to rejoin a Saints side that boasts Fraser Gehrig, Justin Koschitzke and Stephen Milne.

In disheartening news for DT coaches who have been riding the coat-tails of West Coast tall Mark Seaby so far this season, the Eagles' first-choice ruckman, Dean Cox, says he's a sure thing to play in the all-WA clash against Fremantle on Saturday night.

Merv Gray

Demons' dilemma

Melbourne's goal-kicking burden looks set to fall on Brad Miller and Cam Bruce with news that captain David Neitz and Russell Robertson could miss the next month of AFL action with knee injuries. Fellow forward Aaron Davey has been anonymous in the first two rounds, while long-time servant Adem Yze was dropped in round two. If the Dees are to have any impact on the scoreboard, then, it looks likely to be through Miller ($196,400, bak/fwd) or Bruce ($397,700, ctr).

Elsewhere, Richmond's rucking woes look set to continue with the Tigers unwillinging to rush Troy Simmonds and Trent Knobel back into the fray too quickly. Forward Nathan Brown also faces another week at least on the sidelines.

Nathan Bock, who Adelaide coach Neil Craig plays forward but you can play as a back, has avoided a trip to the tribunal after accepting a reprimand for his hit on Western Bulldogs ruck bargain Luke Darcy on Sunday. At this stage, the Crows also reckon Brett Burton might be fit enough to play this week. As always, hold your trades until the teams are named on Thursday night.

Tredrea feels a kid... I mean, feels LIKE a kid

Port Adelaide captain Warren Tredrea ($278,800, fwd) reckons he felt like a 28-year-old kid in his comeback game tonight. Tredrea booted seven goals with the Port Adelaide Magpies in his first competitive match in nine months. He wants to back in Port's AFL side and told AAP: "I'm confident I've done enough work to come back to AFL. I'd love to be out there next week, but the decision is not with myself it's with the other guys."

Elsewhere, forward Aaron Edwards is set to make his Kangaroos debut on Sunday; the Power will regain star midfielder Peter Burgoyne and Josh Mahoney; Essendon recalled Jason Laycock; and the Dockers named Matthew Carr and Luke Webster.

Chook.

Who needs Riewoldt anyway?

St Kilda coach Ross Lyon raised the ire of DT coaches across the country when he announced injured forward Nick Riewoldt ($379,800) would sit out tomorrow's match against Brisbane. More than 13,000 DT coaches have selected Riewoldt, who was initially expected to be back in the Saints' first 22 by round two. Instead, Riewoldt will again leave the key forward duties to Fraser Gehrig ($259,900), who bagged 117 points in Nick's absence last week. The Saints shat it in then, brushing off a lacklustre Melbourne side.

The Saints have also lost Matt Maguire ($236,900) for the Lions game, but can bring in Max Hudghton ($191,400). Go Max.

Elsewhere, Adeliade bird man Brett Burton and teammate Simon Goodwin are in doubt for the Crows' clash against the Western Bulldogs.

Big-man curse hits Tigers

Watch yo self, Matty Richardson; the curse that plagued the Western Bulldogs' big men last season appears to have been cast over Richmond's collection of talls, with Terry Wallace revealing that number one ruckman Troy Simmonds is out for at least another week.

With back-up Trent Knobel still sidelined indefinitely with an ankle injury, expect to see Adam Pattison and Graham Polak sharing the ruck duties against Sydney this weekend. If you were toying with the idea of adding Swans recruit Peter Everitt ($295,600) to your squad at some point this season, this could be the week your investment pays off.

In other injury news:

• Sydney star Nick Davis will be sidelined for up to three weeks after the forward aggravated a foot injury in last weekend's loss to West Coast. His replacement will be Adam Schneider, who has overcome an injured hamstring.
  
• Port Adelaide skipper Warren Tredrea will play his first match in more than eight months when he makes his comeback on Thursdsay night - no, not for the Power but their SANFL affiliate.
  

Merv Gray.

No tribunal trip for Hodge

Hawthorn ball-magnet Luke Hodge will be free to play in round two after receiving a reprimand for his indiscretion against Brisbane veteran and blog favourite Nigel Lappin. Unfortunately for DT coaches who had Hodge ($352,700, ctr) in their midfield, the Hawk did not register a kick with the statisticians when he booted Lappin.

He did, however, rack up five frees-against (-15 points), which could make him something of a liability in a season which will see umpires pay more free kicks than ever before.

The AFL match review panel also dismissed charges against Matthews Whelan (Melbourne) and Pavlich (Fremantle), and Jordan Lewis (Hawthorn), Alwyn Davey (Essendon) and Luke McGuane (Richmond).

Fremantle full-back Steven Dodd will miss a week after doing a barn-dance on top of Port Adelaide's Damon White, while Kangaroos midfielder Jess Sinclair and Adelaide backman Nathan Bassett will take their rough conduct cases to the tribunal tonight. Regardless of the outcome, the length of the potential suspensions (one game at this stage) means only the most skittish DT coaches will trade them this week.

UPDATE: Both Bassett and Sinclair are likely starters in round two after being cleared at the tribunal tonight.

Merv Gray.

Is that a pubic bone spur or are you just happy to see me?

Western Bulldogs veteran Chris Grant will miss the first half of the season after surgeons last night got out the tweezers to pluck a spur from the big man's pubic bone. A sensible price tag ($231,900) and the versatility of playing him as a forward or back enticed more than 5000 coaches to draft the big man in round one. Depending on where you picked him, possible replacements include fit-again Saint Xavier Clarke ($230,100, bac), Luke's little brother Sam Power ($224,800, bac) , or Lance Franklin ($223,800, fwd), who all made okay starts to the season. Alternatively, pocket a little spare change and spring for West Coast youngster Mitchell Brown ($82,300, fwd), who looks the goods.

The first round's long-term injuries (the ones worth dumping players over) included St Kilda's Matt Maguire and Melbourne's Brock McLean, who both look like missing six weeks. For Maguire ($236,900, bac), the discerning DT coach must consider Clarke or Power (see above), or Adelaide's Nathan Bock ($235,600). Just don't bring in Cats captain Tom Harley - he's out for six weeks with a finger injury. There's a glut of midfielders waiting to replace the more expensive McLean ($362,800, ctr), including Simon Black, Scott Thompson, Brett Kirk and the under-priced Daniel Kerr.

Lastly, ensure you don't have too many players on the list below.

Merv Gray.

INJURY LIST
ADELAIDE
Trent Hentschel (knee) – season
Rhett Biglands (knee) - season
Mark Ricciuto (back) - indefinite
Nick Gill (hamstring) - indefinite
Bryce Campbell (ankle) - 3 weeks
Ivan Maric (hip) - 3 weeks
Ken McGregor (Achilles) - 3-4 weeks
John Meesen (knee) - 7 weeks
Kris Massie (test) - test
Luke Jericho (back) - test
Darren Pfeiffer (cheekbone) - 4 weeks
Simon Goodwin (corked thigh) - test

BRISBANE LIONS
Mitchell Clark (leg) - 3-4 weeks
Matthew Leuenberger (groin) - 2 weeks
Jason Roe (hamstring) - test
Robert Copeland (hip) - test
Daniel Bradshaw (knee) - season
Nigel Lappin (thigh) - test
Anthony Corrie (knee) - indefinite
Chris Scott (hip) - indefinite
Joel Macdonald (knee) - 5-7 weeks
Troy Selwood (back) - 4-6 weeks
Pat Garner (knee) - season
Josh Drummond (glute) - 1-2 weeks
Rhan Hooper (quadricep) - 3 weeks
Jamie Charman (Achilles) - test

CARLTON
Anthony Raso (broken wrist) - 1-2 weeks
Anthony Koutoufides (finger) - 6-7 weeks
Clinton Benjamin (quad) - 1-2 weeks

COLLINGWOOD
Alan Didak (knee) - test
Nathan Buckley (hamstring) - 1-2 weeks
Chris Dawes (knee) - indefinite
Sean Rusling (shoulder) - indefinite

ESSENDON
Jason Johnson (foot) - 1-2 weeks
Jay Nash (foot) 2-4 weeks
Richard Cole (hamstring) - test
Jason Laycock (hamstring) - available
Courtenay Dempsey (groin) - test

FREMANTLE
Heath Black (hip) - test
Troy Cook (ankle) - test
Robert Warnock (toe) - test
Byron Schammer (post-surgery complications) - indefinite
Robert Haddrill (knee) - 4 weeks

GEELONG
Max Rooke (hamstring) - 1 week
Tom Lonergan (kidney) - indefinite
Joel Reynolds (knee) - season
Steven King (calf) - 1 week
Tom Harley (finger) - 6 weeks

HAWTHORN
Richie Vandenberg (hamstring) - 4-5 weeks
Joel Smith (knee) - 3-4 weeks
Mitch Thorp (hip) - 6-7 weeks

KANGAROOS
Nathan Thompson (knee) - season
Leigh Harding (knee) - indefinite
Josh Gibson (hamstring) - test

MELBOURNE
Brock McLean (foot) - 6 weeks
Jared Rivers (hamstring) - test
Byron Pickett (hamstring) - test
Lynden Dunn (cheek) - 2 weeks
James Frawley (stress fracture) - 4 weeks
Isaac Weetra (hamstring) - 2 weeks

PORT ADELAIDE
Peter Burgoyne (thigh) - test
Travis Boak (hip) - test
Josh Mahoney (ankle) - test
Daniel Motlop (ankle) - 2-3 weeks
Warren Tredrea (knee) - test

RICHMOND
Troy Simmonds (ankle) - test
Ray Hall (hip) - 3 weeks
Carl Peterson (groin) - indefinite
Mark Coughlan (knee) - season
Kent Kingsley (ankle) - 3 weeks
Will Thursfield (knee) - 1 week

ST KILDA
Raphael Clarke (back) - indefinite
Michael Gardiner (groin) - indefinite
Aaron Hamill (knee) - indefinite
Nick Riewoldt (back) - test
Fergus Watts (ankle) - indefinite
Matt Maguire (stress fracture) - TBC

SYDNEY
Adam Schneider (hamstring) - test
Heath Grundy (back) - test
Paul Bevan (hamstring) - test
Lewis Roberts-Thomson (foot) - indefinite

WEST COAST
Mitch Morton (knee) - 2 weeks
Mark Nicoski (shoulder) - 9 weeks
Sam Butler (groin) - 3 weeks
Josh Wooden (hip) - 3 weeks
Andrew Embley (groin) - test
Ashley Hansen (groin) - test
Chad Fletcher (knee) - 1 week
Dean Cox (quad) - test
Chris Judd (corked thigh) - available

WESTERN BULLDOGS
Mitch Hahn (knee) - ongoing assessment
Wayde Skipper (hamstring) - test
Chris Grant (groin/abdominal) - test
Robert Murphy (corked hip) - available
Brett Montgomery (bruised ribs) - test